For The Powers of Good Not Evil

My whole life I've been told I have a big mouth. Big girl, big voice, big opinions, big mouth. I can assure you that nobody who ever told me that was giving me a compliment. I've blogged about how having a big mouth gets me in trouble more often that not, that I lack a filter, and that there are even times when I wish I talked less and listened more.

It's fair to say that I'm not terribly proud of having said big mouth -again, mostly because those who have pointed it out to me have done so in a less than positive way. I don't think it's one of those traits we think are positive. I mean you never hear someone say, "She has beautiful skin, is gentle and kind, unfailingly polite, has mesmerising eyes and ....the biggest mouth you ever heard." I've got a close friend who feels the need to tell me (every time I see her) that I share too much on facebook, that I "put it all out there," far too often and that I'm an "over communicator." Which of course I find funny because I do my best in that forum to keep my opinions to myself, to not share much about what I'm doing, and to just be a little less of a big mouth than I am in real life. Either it's not working, OR she's just someone who herself is uncomfortable as a communicator and hence she finds my level of chatter a little confronting. (In the name of research, I checked with some others. Apparently it's her, not me. Not that it matters.)

Over the last several months I finally realised the positive side to being a big mouth. It makes you approachable, it makes you authentic, it makes you the person people go to when they need someone to hold their hand, look into their eyes, and tell it like it is. I've been amazed at the calls and texts I've gotten from friends and some just acquaintances asking to make use of my big mouth skills. People asking if I can make the time to talk to them about business, about my experiences with IVF, about how to find jobs in the hospitality industry, about losing a parent, about changing careers, and so on. All things which I have lived through and have experience in, but more importantly all things I've been vocal about. Things which I may not have flaunted (especially the IVF bit) but certainly things which I've been open and honest about from the get-go. Things I have never been afraid to talk about. Things which lots of people go through every single day, but also things which make people feel alone, and scared, and hopeless, and...curious. When they go through their mental catalogue of people they know who have been through those things, they remember me. Why? Because I'm a loud mouth. And being a loud mouth is less about what you say and more about being memorable. It's just my good fortune that people remember this about me when they need a friend. I'm pretty sure the shy and retiring among us (while lovely people) are probably not getting these phone calls.

So maybe I am an over-communicating big mouth, and maybe I really should learn to talk less and listen more, and maybe not everyone wants to hear my opinion on things ... but if all of those negative things about me translate into one big positive of helping people, I'm all for it.

Truth be told, I'm actually honoured and almost a little embarrassed that these wonderful people want MY time. There is nothing special about me other than the fact that I'm willing to open my mouth and say what I'm thinking, or share what I'm living. On second thought, maybe it's my willingness which is the special bit.