Because My Life is Exciting

Today I had a woman from a dairy company come and interview me about how the businesses uses dairy products - how much, how often, what suppliers, etc. I'm actually one of those geeks who is happy to do that kind of survey because I believe that ultimately, we are all better served by "big business" knowing what it is that little business wants. I actually believe this across the board - so when those survey guys call at home I don't hang up on them. I've been in focus groups, done 'vox pop' interviews on the street and so on.

I'd like to believe I do this because I am a concerned, involved citizen. In reality I do it because I have an inflated sense of self and think everyone should hear my opinion.

That, and usually I get free stuff for doing it. Today was a $60 gift card to a local department store. I *should* go and buy myself some clothes. Instead, I'm going to buy my daughters some undies. Because I can't handle seeing their little butt cracks anymore.

Yes, my life is really that exciting.

A Blogger's Gripe

Stuff I hate about other people's blogs, in no particular order:

- Endless blog rolls or link lists which never get updated or are so long as to be annoying. My own blog list (over there on the right) verges on being too long, but at least it gets updated once in a while.

- Too much visual crap cluttering up the page so you have to hunt for the actual post content. Counters, etc are fun but you do not need to count down to your next bathroom stop as well as days to Xmas and also have fifteen flashing widgets.

- Music. Your blog is not so fabulous that it needs a musical introduction every time I open the page.

- Award lists: I like getting blog awards, I just don't feel I need to clutter my page up with them. Acknowledge them in a post, pass them on, and that's it. In 5 minutes from now we won't care if you got the "E is for Excellent" award.

- Blogs who do not let you read the entire post in a reader. Why is this so?

- Blogs that used to be about parenthood and funny stuff but are now all about the cool people they met at BlogHer and all the secret cool people's business that went on there

- Blogs that used to be great to read until the author got a book deal. Jealous much? Yes. But also annoyed much ... because it used to be all fun and games until someone got a book deal, and then it got all boring and forced and not interesting to read at all.

- I'm more of a lurker than a commenter, but if someone takes the time to visit me and comment, you can bet I'll be doing the same in return (where possible, some of you choose to be Anon E. Mouse.)

- Food blogs which have now become food porn blogs to an extreme degree, as it's now suddenly all become about the EIGHTEEN close up photos of chocolate chip cookies. Why do you need to many pics when one or two will do?

... and that's all I can think of for now. Who wants to join in on my complaints about blogs free for all?

Sweet Eye Candy

It's been a while since I've posted any cake photos, so I thought I'd amuse you all with some sweet treats. All of these were done in the last couple of weeks:

A really simple design which looks lovely (IMHO anyway!). This is the one we delivered to Mt Dandenong.


This is the INSIDE of the luau cake below - the customer wanted something with WOW factor so we gave her a rainbow cake. I thought it was just stunning - and tasted good, too. I'm debating if I should add this to our list of regular flavours.

Luau cake - for a 13 year old, so we wanted something fun and yet a little bit grown up.

Mountain climber cake - supposedly where this guy hikes it's green all year round and yet snows... when we finished it, the top had a giant Hawthorn Hawks flag on top (which you can't see in this pic.)

Farmyard scene - for a grandfather and granddaughter sharing a party. The haystacks are cupcakes and the animals are all marzipan. My favourite are the little royal icing ducks in the pond and the pigs playing in the mud. :)

Three Sweeties Radio

This morning I had the immense thrill of being on the radio! The Breakfast Show on VEGA 91.5FM here in Melbourne wrote some hilariously funny radio ads for us. You can hear all the fun here:

http://www.vegafm.com.au/vega915/Audio_The-DDC-Ad-Agency-gets-sweet_95074

Enjoy! :) (and how horrible do our voices sound when we hear ourselves? Eek!)

Obsession

You know that your family has been playing Farmville too much when:

1) You're driving through bushland Victoria and your kids look out the window and say, "Hey, Mum, this looks just like Farmville!"

and

2) This is the series of texts you swap with your husband (who often plays the game at night):

Me: Not to be kinky or anything, but did you harvest my farm last night?
Him: Um, no. Should I have? I did plough your furrow a couple of times though. Does that count?

I think we need to find a new hobby.

I Can See Clearly Now

Today, there is a window cleaner working on our house - cleaning windows which have not been done in at least 8 years (since we moved in) but possibly never cleaned at all. It's a nice(ish) Melbourne day so I commented how lucky he is to be working outside today. He replied that he loved it and it "beat the heck" out of his old job.

His old job? (Because you know nosy ol' me had to ask.) He was an architect with a major city architecture firm.

Yes. An architect of 20+ years experience is cleaning my filthy windows. What's more, he seems pretty darn happy to be doing it. Ecstatic, even. He said he just could not take one more day sitting in front of a computer in a big office.

Today, I re-read an email from my little brother which questioned the "take anything" job versus the "career move" job. When I came to Australia, I took the "take anything" job, and eventually one of those morphed (without my really noticing it) into the "career" job. I had an entire career going in university administration without even realising that what I was doing was carving out a career. And then one day, I realised that the career I'd fallen into wasn't one I particularly liked, and so I jumped ship and went to culinary school. A story most readers of this blog would be familiar with, so I won't re-hash it again. Suffice it to say I don't think I could have achieved that leap without several 'take anything' jobs - all of which were useful in their own way.

When I was working at the cafe from hell a few months ago, I mentioned to someone in passing that I took the job because of what it might teach me. Not because of the pay, the location, the job itself (although all of those were contributing factors). I took it mostly because of what I thought I could learn from it. It wasn't the career job, not really - it was more like the take anything job - but it was also a job at which I thought I could learn something. So in a way while I knew it was temporary, and would not advance my career at all - I saw it as a chance to ADD to my career knowledge.

I can understand the dilemma, though - when you're not sure what you want to do, how do you know which career job to look for? Would you potentially be "wasting" your time in a take anything job? My answer to my brother was basically that he should do the 'take anything' job because frankly, having money in the bank gives you the freedom of TIME to think more about the career job you might want.

And then I realised that maybe there are people who would disagree with this opinion, namely my Dad who would say the take anything job is a waste of time and effort.

So - suppose you're nearing 30. You have no wife (but you do have a serious partner), no kids, no mortgage. You do have some living expenses, but you have no defined career either. The career you started has basically tanked (hey, thanks economy!) but you do have a whole load of skills and abilities. Armed with only that information - which do you choose? The take anything or the career?

Enquiring minds want to know.

About Scubs and Dogs

We had a pretty busy weekend here at Case Verde... on Friday DS went off to his first cub scout camp (or "scub camp"... in DS-speak, scouts+cubs=scubs). It's also the first time he's been separated from his sisters for any reasonable length of time - other than the odd sleepover at Nana's or something. I was none too happy about this, but I was interested to notice that I was MORE upset at the idea of them not sleeping in the same house than I was about him being away from home. Hmmm. I've never really bought into the whole "triplets as a unit" thing so I found that feeling rather curious. I would even say I've gone to great lengths to ensure that my kiddos are separate entities, so why the heck would I care if they had the chance to do something fabulous and yet separate? In the end I decided it's more about my being sad that they are growing up (and therefore a bit apart in activities) than it is about anything else.

The girls did not share my sentiment in the slightest. In fact one of them wished his bus would get stuck in traffic so he could never come home. I did laugh when we asked DD2 if she missed her brother at all, and she laughed and said, "NO WAY! A whole WEEKEND without boy cooties in the house is awesome! Well, except for yours, Dad. But your cooties are old so it's okay."

So this begs the question - the older the cooties, the less potent?

So while my little scub was doing things like finding dragons down a mine, and sliding down a water and deterget slippery slip into a pile of tan bark, the girls and DH and I had a weekend of adventures. On Saturday we went up Mount Dandenong to deliver a wedding cake. The venue was in the middle of an Edna Walling garden so we pottered around there, browsed through Olinda, and in general enjoyed that part of Melbourne (which is a favourite of mine.) On the way there I sent out a, "Who is up for a barbie?" text to some friends which meant we also had dinner at home with friends and cheese and sausages and noise (all favourites of mine.) Sunday we slept in, thanks to no basketball date with DS to get to (yay).

Today was spent in a paddock in a town called Seymour, home to the Victorian Greyhound Adoption Program - where we got Teddy from. It was their Xmas party and it was really amazing to see how many greys there were, what a nice feeling to think that many dogs have been saved! I, of course, wandered around wanting all the cute little small ones... while saying to DH, "NO, we cannot have another dog. NO, we cannot have another dog. NO, we cannot have another dog!" all while pining for some of the little cuties who needed a home.

We picked DS up from the bus and it's fair to say he was triumphant - managed to get home in one piece, totally filthy, and brimming over with excitement about his weekend in the woods. Really, what more can a parent ask for than happy, excited kids? (Except maybe kids who clean their rooms and do their chores without complaint.)

I love these kinds of weekends - filled with all sorts of stuff I love doing, with people I adore, and in a place I love. What did you get up to this weekend?

Epic Food Fail

I recently read somewhere that most food businesses fail within 2 years, and then something like 75% of the remaining ones fail in the third year. Scary, scary stuff when you consider the amount of time, emotional energy, and general blood/sweat/tears which goes into food businesses. There's just a huge amount of financial and administrative start-up when it comes to food - staggering, really when you consider too the emotional nature of food. Makes you wonder why anyone would start a food business in the first place.

I've recently met someone who has been trying to get a food business off the ground for about a year. For blogging's sake we'll call this guy Hercules. Hercules has paid an enormous sum for a food technologist to help him develop the recipes for his product. In a way I understand that - he didn't have the food skills so he outsourced. Once he got the recipe, he's spent months and months and months "in development." So creating labels, trying to secure a commercial kitchen, trying to secure some large equipment for mass-production and so on and so forth. In all this time he hasn't found a way to standardise his method and so for now, it's all pretty labour-intensive.

In chatting with Hercules a few weeks ago, I asked him a simple question. "So," says I, "have you got any existing customers? How are you getting this product out there?"

Hercules had no answer for me. He'd managed to sell a couple of boxes worth of product, but that's it. He was so hung up on HOW he was going to produce thousands of these things, he'd forgotten that someone needed to actually BUY thousands of these things. The feedback he had gotten thus far is that a) the product had too much sugar (it's a 'health food' product) and b) it was priced far too high to be viable for most shops to stock. In the months since he'd gotten that feedback, he'd made no effort to alter the recipe or re-cost to see if he could lower the price. What he DID do was stress out a lot, research equipment a lot, make a lot of phone calls, and work himself into a lather.

Here's the kicker. The product has a 9 MONTH shelf life. So theoretically he could hire a friend or two, bust out thousands of his products, and then go out and sell, sell, sell - in the hopes that selling would lead to more orders and so on and so forth. That idea did not occur to him.

I then met another couple embarking on their own food business adventure. They both quit their (lucrative) jobs in IT at the same time - after the female half of the partnership had spent ONE YEAR researching this scheme. They then had a) no income for either of them and b) no places to sell their product. The very first time I met them (and this is after a YEAR of research, remember) the male partner said to me, "What is this about a registered kitchen? Everywhere we go the people tell us we need a registered kitchen!"

I then met a third couple, who also had spent a YEAR researching and developing their business. By the time I met them they were 6 months, spent over $100k and basically desperate to find clients and customers. They had done no formal advertising (that I knew of) to get their business going. Instead the 100K was spent on very beautiful packaging, a super-whizz-bang website, and god knows what else. They never made it past the 9 month mark, and as far as I know (over a year and a few months later) have yet to even sell the remaining assets of the business.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say I've got it all right - because believe me, I haven't. I've made some pretty MAJOR mistakes along the way - including not allowing for the provision of a salary for me right from the beginning, not having a realistic advertising budget, and so on. But, I also DID NOT spend a year "researching," I also didn't spend any money on ultra-glam packaging, and while I DID spend money on a website, it doesn't also have the functionality of making my dinner and doing my kids' homework.

Here, then, are a couple of common mistakes I have noticed that novice food business owners make:

1. They believe their friends when they say, "OMG! This tastes awesome! You could totally sell these and make money!" Your friends are lovely people. They want to please you. They probably DO think your product tastes great, but they are NOT the people you will be selling to in the long term.

2. They start spending a boat load of money they do not have on stuff they do not need, at least initially. Hint: Your business cards do not need to have a voice-activated microchip in them for you to seem legit.

3. They forget about the importance of having customers. Actually getting people INTO their business - to buy the stuff they're making.

4. They make no financial, emotional, or time allowance for the lag time between when you set up the business and when it might actually start to make you some money you can keep.

5. They forget what business they are actually in. I actually learned this lesson in culinary school - that a business owner should wake up every morning and say, "What business am I in?" and if the answer is convoluted - "I run a cafe slash cooking school slash wholesale business slash apron company" then they have no REAL idea of what their core business is. If their reply is simple - "I make and sell artisan bread," then chances are they have a much clearer idea of their business and their strengths.

6. They don't 'research' what is involved in a food business beyond just making something tasty - the permits, the infrastructure, the customers, the demands on your money and time. The 'romance' of owning a food business makes them forget stuff like needing to pay for overheads. Simply being able to MAKE a yummy item does not make you able to sell that product to the general public.

7. They have delusions of grandeur and this clouds the real issues. In the case of Hercules, he believes in his product SO much, he's not listening to the real feedback he's getting from potential customers. He's so convinced his product is the best ever (and healthy faith IS a good thing, to a point) that he cannot actually see his real problem in getting it off the ground: customers.

8. They either a) give over every living breathing moment to the business, to the detriment of all else, or b) they decide they NEED to have XYZ amount of time off every week and so they don't devote enough time to it. Also known as working too much IN your business versus ON your business, or not working either IN or ON enough.

9. They get desperate and start to discount, offer free stuff, and basically whore either themselves or their product around in a desperate bid to make some short-term cash flow. All this does it make your customers aware that a) you're cheap and b) you're negotiable.

10. Food businesses are NOT about flavour, colour, feeding people, promoting a certain region, 'helping' people with food issues, happiness, education or pushing a certain philosophy (eg Slow Food). Food businesses are about one thing and one thing only: money. Everyone goes INTO food businesses for the love. The ones that come OUT of it do so because of money. Basically it doesn't matter if your cupcakes bring on instant orgasm or your bread makes people fall in love. If it's not earning you any money (or at least paying it's own bills after a reasonable amount of time), you need to get out and save yourself.

I realise all of this sounds kinda negative. Of course there are some wildly successful food businesses that started right on someone's kitchen table. Businesses that made NO money for several months or years. Businesses that were the owner's ideal dream and that dream now employs 300 people across 6 states. But those businesses are rare. Very rare.

So if I had one bit of advice to give any potential food business owner, it's this: Do it with the love, but for the money. Because without the money, your love will only last so long.

And, for anyone reading this and wondering about my own food business - I did it for the love, and hoped the money would follow. It hasn't quite followed as much or as quickly as I'd like, but in the space of 2 years the business is doing pretty darn well, thanks very much. :) Hey, it's still around - and not in the red - so this in itself is an achievement.

Jeff-Fuh-Fuh

On Monday night DH and I went to a live performance of the American comedian Jeff Dunham. It's been a while since he and I have had a night out (which did not involve movies or children or both) so it was a real treat. I felt like a proper grown up since we had to shlep all the way into the city, walk to the Arts Centre and in general behave like normal people. (Shock horror, I had to wear something kinda decent, too.) Anyway Jeff was freakin' HILARIOUS and both of us laughed so much that my jaw literally hurt afterward. Great fun.

So here's the part I find pretty interesting (well, other than the guy at the end of the row, who has a ZZ Top style beard which went below his belly button...). At this show there were quite a few KIDS. Jeff's shows are great fun, yes, and they involve fun characters which kids would probably enjoy (if you've never heard of him, he's a ventriloquist). However, there is a lot of cursing, a fair amount of mention of sex and drugs, a splash of racism, and basically it's just that little bit off-colour. To be fair my kids have seen some of his videos... and they understand that it's humour and one should not run around screaming, "I KEEEL YOU!" in a vaguely Middle Eastern accent.

Now that said, it wasn't just the content which isn't kid-friendly. These kids were there on a MONDAY night. At 8pm. At a show which cost $80 PER TICKET.

Call me old fashioned, but I don't see the point of this. Just like I don't see the point of taking kids to really expensive shows late at night (although mind you, it was ME who fell asleep at the Lion King Broadway production.) Am I being a total stick in the mud here? I just don't think these kinds of places need kids at them - and it wouldn't occur to me to take my kids in the first place (although when they heard we were going, they were most annoyed at not being invited along.)

I'm not saying kids should not attend musical, comedy or cultural events. Next May is the trio's 9th birthday. As a family we decided not to do the party thing and instead to treat all of them to a showing of Mamma Mia! which is returning to Melbourne around that time.

It's going to cost me a small fortune. But it isn't late at night (matinee) on a school night (weekend) and it's not all about sex and drugs and rock and roll (okay, but maybe only the tiniest bit.) As DH said, it's kinda a whole different thing. Last night, though - was really just a seedy comedy club but on a grander scale. Not a kid place at all.

Opinions? Am I really just being unreasonable? Or maybe I'm just pissed off at having spent a fortune to escape my kids for the night... only to have to be around other people's kids...

Purchase Power

I recently read this post by The Neighbour's Wife where she laments the loss of a friend to the wonderful world of pyramid selling. Okay maybe nothing as dramatic as that, but basically her friend is now spending a whole lot of time pushing product, and a whole lot less time just being a friend.

Involving my friends in my business is something I sometimes struggle with - because while I know and love them, I don't want to abuse the relationship. So once in a while I'll ask for an opinion on a product, or on an idea I have. I might even get them to pack some cookies for me (notably Poppet's Mum, who was bagging cookies the day before she went into labour with 2nd Poppet.) Mostly I keep these requests very few and far between, and I'm fortunate that most of my friends are very willing and able to lend their opinion or professional advice.

I have NEVER asked a friend to buy something from me. NEVER. Sure, I might occasionally suggest that sending cupcakes is WAY COOLER than sending flowers - but I would never in a million years outright ask a friend to buy something of mine, no matter how good I know it is. Some friends choose to buy stuff regularly, and I'm grateful for the support. Others might buy only occasionally as budget or timing permits. Let's face it, I sell a luxury, expensive item and it's just not always in the budget. I don't take this personally AT ALL. If you want to support me and can afford to, great! If not, not. I still love you.

This whole friends-as-salespeople has come to the fore recently when DH told me he went to lunch with a former work colleague. Not to catch up on industry gossip, but to basically recruit DH and I to an Amway style of buying supermarket products. What amazed me is how DH was able to come home spewing all the facts. "We could be potentially earning thousands a year!" "Our groceries could be free!" and so on and so forth. Apparently he told this guy that we are skeptics (because we are) but then DH spent a good 10 minutes telling me how this scheme seems really good and we should at least listen to what they have to say (Um, NO.)

Anyone else ever had this whole friend-as-salesman thing? On the one hand I think it's great that companies like Avon and Tupperware and the like are empowering people to earn a living, work part-time, and basically carve out a career in between other commitments. On the other hand, they really rely on people 'farming' their friends and loved ones, and in some cases the salesperson chooses to continually farm the same people.

What say you? Tupperware lady - friend or foe?

Hair Today

For those who know me in real life, you know that I don't generally "do" grooming. I don't spray tan, I wax only when I can be bothered, I don't do manicures or pedicures or facials or chemical peels or make-up. In fact I think it's fair to say that the amount of money I spend each year on personal grooming is about equal to the amount of money I spend on clothing purchases. Which is about as close to zero as I can get away with.

My only real indulgence is getting my hair done. I ADORE getting my hair done. Why this is so is pretty easy to work out. There are no children there, someone else does the work, it involves mindless flipping through trashy magazines and it's all about me, me, me. The only real thing missing is a Coke Slurpee, but otherwise it's a completely hedonistic experience.

I used to get my hair done every 6 weeks without fail - mostly to keep the greys at bay (thanks Mom, for the early greying. Love those genetics!) About a year ago, my normal hairdresser (of more than 8 years) totally lost her freakin' marbles. So I endured about 3-4 crappy haircuts, colour I didn't like, and general mis-treatment of me as a client. The last time I went in there, the price increased by about 50%... because apparently all this time I'd been getting a "deal" but on that day the boss was there so I was charged normal prices. Who knew I was even getting a deal in the first place?

So I did what was necessary, and I divorced my hairdresser. In a fabulously passive-aggressive way, but there you go. Since that time, I've been whoring myself around to a whole bunch of hairdressers and salons. Most of them were recommended by friends. I've tried small salons, big ones, trendy ones, dorky ones, expensive ones, cheap ones...and everything in between and I've HATED THEM ALL.

This one, the chairs were uncomfortable (important to a big person like myself.) That one, they didn't have credit card facilities (what the hell? seriously?). The other one, the woman talked incessantly and took about 4 hours too long to do my hair. The last one, they endlessly pushed product on me. I just can't find a new hairdresser to marry. As a result, I've been full of grey hair and with no decent shape to my hair (and FYI, my Mom will read this, and call me and tell me to cut out the crap and go get a decent hair cut. So by blogging and admitting this sorry state of affairs, I'm clearly desperate.)

What the heck am I supposed to do about this? I desperately want to return to my hairdresser, but I've divorced her (even though we're friends on facebook, we're divorced, okay?). But I can't really afford that salon any more (esp on 'normal' rates)... and I've run through all my friends' hairdressers and hated them all.

People, it's desperation time. My hair looks like shit, and I, as a result, feel like shit about said hair. It's time for drastic action. How does one find a new hairdresser to marry?

She's All Ears

Another triplet parenting coping mechanism I employ is to not sweat the small stuff... or really, don't make a big deal out of stuff which will have no actual effect on the quality of your life. Recent case in point, DD2 has been agitating to get her ears pierced. I have absolutely no moral objection to this - in fact I think it's a pretty minor request. I see nothing wrong with it (other than when people get babies' ears done...I think that's kinda creepy.) I told her she could get it done when she felt she wanted to, and when she felt able to take proper care of them. After several months of false starts ("Can we go today, Mum?" "Sure." "Okay well maybe we will go next week...") she eventually decided she wanted to go last weekend and get them done.

So we did. FYI, she didnt' even flinch (except that some minutes later she told me, "In my tummy I am dying a thousand deaths." She's nothing if not dramatic.)

...and I'm amazed at the amount of disapproving looks, negative commentary, and general unease this seems to have caused among people we know. Seriously, in this day and age, getting a pre-teen's ears pierced is a big deal?!

Just wait until they see the tattoo we've planned!

Everything's Better With Chocolate

While not everything in life can be solved with a little bit of chocolate, the ensuing sugar haze can certainly make thing seem a lot brighter in the short term. Given my recent emotional experiences, I highly recommend these cookies as a mood-enhancer. Easy and fun to make, get the kids involved and try not to eat all the raw batter (or at least put some aside so the kids don't eat all of it.)

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies
(originally from allrecipes.com)
Yield: About 30

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 6 tablespoons butter, softened
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

Directions

1. Combine flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
2. Melt 1 cup of chocolate chips over low heat. Cream butter and sugar. Add melted chocolate chips and vanilla; beat in eggs; add flour mixture and remaining chocolate chips.
3. Wrap in plastic and freeze until firm (about 20 minutes).
4. Make small balls (1 inch); roll in confectioners' sugar. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Cool on wire rack.

Enjoy!

Anniversary

Today would have been my parent's 42nd wedding anniversary. In previous years, I used to call my parents, and when Mom answered I'd jokingly say, "Mom, mazel tov on surviving yet another year of Dad's mishegaas (craziness) ! You did it!" and we would both laugh. My Dad would then usually get on the phone and say, "Hey! What about me! I had to survive another year of your mother's mishegaas as well!" We would all laugh about how ridiculous it all was - primarily because that while my parents loved each other very much, they had a tendency to drive one another up a wall.

You have no idea how much I wish they could have had several more years of putting up with one another. It has been 3 months and 2 days since I lost my Dad. It doesn't hurt any less, and today it hurts just a little bit more.