Heartstrings

My Dad, who I've written about on this blog several times, passed away in a most sudden manner on Thursday,August 6th. I'm now back in the US and will be here for a few more weeks as we all try to unravel the details of his affairs and remember to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'm not sure when I'll come back to blogging.

Got Me Again

Tuesday nights are a bit of a mess around here. There's the usual school pick up, homework, lunch and dinner making and blah-di-blah...and then there is the ballet class, and more recently the Cubs (Boy Scouts) for DS. Most of our "events" end well after 8pm. 8pm on a Tuesday after I've been cooking since 7am mean I'm a bit of a wreck. This makes my Tuesdays a nightmare, especially as DH is working loads of extra hours and I can't rely on his usual help.

Tonight, I brought DS home from Cubs, sent the girls to bed and sat down with my son to eat (his) dinner. Over slow cooked Osso Bucco (you KNOW I was going to get a food plug in there) with him, I looked over and realised just how, well, grown up he looks. Most amusing was when he took a bite of dinner, chewed a bit, cocked his head to the side and said, "Hmm. Tender, juicy, flavourful... exactly as it should be, Mum." (And thank you, future MasterChef judge!)

Anyway so I'm looking at my silly, gorgeous son...all tousled hair and red cheeks and gorgeousness, and I'm thinking, WHEN the heck did my little boy grow up? So, lacking in self control and with a tear in my voice AND my eye, I say to him, "Oh, my gorgeous boy. When the heck did you grow up?"

And he says...

"Possibly in the last 8 years I've been alive. I'm pretty sure that's when I did it."

Bloody kid. Ruined my moment.

Bashert

In Yiddish the word "bashert" (bah-shehrt) refers to fate or destiny. It's most commonly used in the arenas of love and marriage - where your bashert is your divine, ultimate partner. A bashert is someone you were meant to be with, a match made in heaven (like me and DH. Awwwww....) These days the term bashert is often used to refer to other things which were meant to be - finding the perfect job, finding a great house, etc. If it was meant to be, it was 'bashert.'

Today, I quit my job.

My cooking job which I really enjoyed, which suited my days and my hours and most of all my pocketbook. Suffice it to say I had no intention of quitting my job today - the opposite, actually. My last day there will be August 31st. When I started the job, I told the owners that I would stay for the winter and then re-assess the situation with my business. Here in Australia winter ends on August 31st, and officially Spring begins on September 1st. All that is a very long way of saying that I quit my job, but I think it's bashert.

I went into the office to tell the owner that I needed some time off in September, to rearrange my roster and take some days off. This is because in September we have a huge number of family and religious committments which are non-negotiable. My neice's Bat Miztvah, the Jewish High Holy Days, and so on. September is just a month of a lot of stuff happening, and just luck would have it that most of them are on the days I normally work. So I went in to say, "September is a hard month for me, scheduling wise, can we work this out together?" and then give them the dates and see what we could work out. I imagined we would talk about swapping shifts, maybe getting another person in, etc.

What happened in reality was very different. The owner had a MASSIVE tantrum, and repeatedly told me that I was unprofessional, ridiculous and an altogether irresponsible person for not telling them about this earlier. Ahem. 6 weeks is not enough notice? Really? Has he ANY idea how most chefs barely bother to give 6 HOURS notice, let alone 6 weeks? It's a very long story but in the end I never got to talk about the roster, I just got yelled at for several minutes. According to the owner, I should have mentioned these things when I got interviewed, as it may have impacted the outcome of the interview. Is he kidding me? I asked him if his prospective Christian employees need to ask for Christmas Day off (while they are in the interview), and he said YES, they do.

Yes. Ahem. That was the proverbial straw. So I said, "Well since you're all about giving notice, and my contract requires 4 weeks notice of resignation... HERE IS YOUR NOTICE. My 4 week resignation notice starts TODAY." and I walked out.

Freedom never felt so good. It took a lot of will power not to punch the air and yell, "YYYEEESSS!!" as I walked away.

So back to the bashert part. I was telling The Neighbour's Wife all about this and she kept telling me it was bashert, that this was meant to happen, that it means NOW is the time to focus on making the business a massive success. I laughed her off, saying that the whole concept of bashert is just bullshit. She started to ask me all about a property I am VERY interested in for the business. I've made about 3 phone calls about this place and so far it's been really hard to pin down the agent to go and inspect the place. Anyway TNW just kept saying, "I'm telling you, it's bashert. It really is."

So I laughed and hung up and went to make dinner.

I checked my mobile phone, and it turns out I had missed a call while talking to The Neighbour's Wife. The call was from the agent of the property I want for the business, inviting me to make an inspection appointment. For tomorrow.

Bashert? Hmmm.

Let's consider this. I told the owners I'd stay for the winter...and my last day of work there is the last day of winter. I told TNW that I would call the agent on Wednesday... but the agent called me first and organised an appointment for Wednesday.

Now I'm not saying I believe in all this bashert business - far too airy fairy, too superstitious, too... not concrete for me.

But to quit my job and have access to the property ALL on the same day? In the same couple of hours?

Well. You know.

Maybe it's bashert.

21 Up

Firstly, some housekeeping ... since I've not blogged in a while I'd better get that out of the way. My lack of blogging is mostly lack of good ideas, so if you want to hear about something specific, speak now by commenting below.

The Neighbour's Wife and The Baker's Wife have both returned to blogging. Go and give them some of your reading love.

Remember the whole mynah bird incident? I was sitting in our home office the other day when I heard a awful racket from the back of the house. Turns out one of the kamikaze birds came back for some more bubble wrap action! So first I ran around freaking out and screaming like a girl, and then I got a broom and shoo'ed his sorry ass out of the door. Seriously? What's with the bloody birds?!

And now back to our regularly scheduled (okay, getting BACK to regularly) blogging:

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21 Up

This past week DH and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Since I make a big ol' deal out of my birthday, you clever types should realise that I was married aged twenty one. Who the heck DOES that anymore? Surely only chicks who appear on Maury Povich, or several of the Duggars, or people for whom the condom snapped in two. Among my friends I was the first to get married - and more frighteninglyI am still one of the only ones married. At the time my friends were supportive but secretly I think they were wondering if I'd lost my cotton pickin' mind.

At the time, it seemed like a pretty logical (and totally fabulous) plan. After all- I knew I'd met the right person. What would be the point of hanging around just dating? It was the obvious choice, the right next step for me and DH's relationship. Part of this decision making was of course driven by DH's age, and by his insistence on living in Australia. I can't imagine my parents letting me move across the globe for just any old boyfriend. That said, marrying DH was so simple, so obvious, so totally RIGHT ... that even on my wedding day I wasn't nervous. I had no cold feet, no doubts, no second thoughts, no nothing other than, "Can we get a move on with this ceremony? I've got some dancing to do!"

12 years later I look back at my 21 year old self and I think, HOLY CRAP. How the heck was she so self-assured? How did she make such a life-altering decision? I find it truly hard to believe that I had the wherewithal to make that choice - but then here I am, 12 years later, and I still adore him and he adores me and we are sickeningly lovey dovey.

Originally I was going to post a list of advice I'd give my 21 year old self - things I wish I knew then, things which might (or might not) have helped shape my life choices. Instead, as my neices (who both read this blog) are heading in that teenage/young adults direction, I'm going to write a list of stuff I think THEY should know. Granted, being teenagers, they will roll their eyes and think I am dorky and ignore me... but hey, this is my blog and they can eye-roll in their own time.

So, A and H, this one's for you. Here's all (okay, ten things) of the stuff I wish I knew then:

1. When it comes to boys, trust your instincts. Sure, it's a lot easier when your family all love the guy and your friends think he's cool. Neither of those are reasons to stay with him if somewhere in the back of your mind is a little niggle of doubt.

2. When it comes to boys, trust your friends and family. They all hate him? Maybe wonder WHY that is before committing to anything.

3. Knowing how to put on make-up properly (and not look like a circus clown or someone who is trying too hard) is an essential skill even for fashion-backwards people like myself. Knowing how to do it while driving a car is stupid and foolish, but nonetheless totally useful (esp lipstick and mascara.)

4. Independence is a fabulous thing, but it doesn't magically appear. Take the time to learn some "boy" stuff - change a tire, change a fuse, inflate tires, shovel snow, kill spiders, construct stuff from IKEA.

5. Independence is a fabulous thing, but there is something really wonderful about having another person in your life with whom you do not need to appear independant. Sometimes having a stiff upper lip isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's totally fine to let someone know the real you.

6. Cultivate the friendships which are about giving and receiving. Learn early how to "cull" the friends who only suck the life blood out of you. Friends who are always negative, friends who are always needy, friends who only want your friendship because of what it gives THEM - turf them.

7. Make sure you put energy into friendships and not just 'relationships' - because girl friends are by far your best ally in the trials and tribulations of life. Even now I regularly go out with girl friends - either one on one or in a group, just for dinner or a girly laugh or a movie or whatever. I WORK at maintaining friendships. It's worth it. I know SO many women whose lives are "lost" to their husbands/partners...and outside of their home they have nobody left. Sometimes it's lonely as hell being a wife and a mother, and your friends are who will save you from that.

8. Learn to be financially aware. Know how to balance a check book, how to write a budget and live within your means, how to save effectively, and how to pay bills. Yes, we all hope you marry one of Bill Gates's kids - but in the event that doesn't happen (and anyway he's not Jewish so what would your grandparents say?) you need to learn to handle money. Don't be afraid of it, because it's the thing which will allow you a pair of Prada sunglasses when you need them most.

9. Learn to cook and bake - even if all you learn is a handful of basic dishes and a decent birthday cake recipe. Knowing how to cook opens up innumerable doors. You can impress potential boyfriends (and his parents), you can look after yourself properly if you're living alone, you can make friends and influence people. Knowing something about food and how to make it is an essential skill. (Hint: It's all about the salt, okay? Salt = flavour.)

10. Have a plan, but be prepared to change it. I think it's important that everyone have some sort of life plan on which to base their future choices. For some it will be specific: "By the time I am 25 I want to be living in Paris and working as a runway model for Karl Lagerfeld." for others it will be generic "By the time I'm 25 I'd like to be working in a job, married and with 2 kids." Either way, have some sort of idea of the direction you would like your life to take. Live a mindful life with that plan in the back of your mind, and make choices based on that plan or the pursuit of the goals within the plan. Then suppose life takes an unexpected turn. Learn to revise the plan. Point is, a life based solely in spontenaity will eventually result in the feeling that you didn't achieve a bunch of stuff you wanted to, mostly because you failed to plan for it. I'm not going to go all "The Secret" on you - but I will say that most things in life are possible when you have a clear idea on how to get them. You won't ever be a Parisian model if you're eating chips and sitting on the couch.

So there you have it, girls. Advice from a cake-baking, tree-hugging, ex-hippie, totally loud-mouthed and occasionally totally insane Aunt. Do with it what you will.

...and while I'm sure this isn't the anniversary post which DH had in mind, I remind him (almost daily) how lucky he is that I was clever enough to marry him. Not bad for a 21 year old.

Release Your Inner Goth

One of the prime reasons I love Jewel as much as I do is that she shoves me way, way, wwwaaayyy out of my comfort zone. She makes me dance, she makes me think, she makes me stop being the comfortable suburban mother that I am 99% of the time. It's not always easy being friends with her - we seem incapable of idle small talk and go right for intense four hour chat marathons - but in many ways I enjoy the mental challenge. She asks a lot of questions and demands real answers. Funnily enough, someone recently told me that *I* am hard to be friends with, for much the same reason. I always seem to be challenging people to think harder about themselves, about their lives, about...everything. I'm not all that fabulous at casual conversation.

This week Jewel invited me along to a fund raising party for a local cafe... and while this sounds all innocent, let me tell you it wasn't innocent at all. First, it was held in the grounds of a historic convent. Secondly, it was a dress-up party and the theme was Victorian Gothic/Addams Family. Third, there was going to be dancing, and a ghost walk, and at least a hundred people I didn't know (but 3 who I did.) I don't really DO creepy, and I certainly don't DO dress-up, and I really, really don't do hanging out with random strangers on a cold Melbourne night.

However.

I went. I dressed up (and I looked bloody amazing... who knew a Morticia wig and sparkly black false eyelashes could transform a person so much?). I danced, I sang, I acted like a fool, I ghost walked, and I hung out with 100 random people...and I loved every single solitary second of it. It reminded me why it's so important to step outside of our everyday lives... because sometimes, you just need a break from the infernal treadmill.

Both Jewel and Cocoa commented that I am a "joiner" - in so far as they ask me to get involved or participate in something and I tend to go full steam ahead. So not only was I sporting the wig and eyelashes, but I also had black nailpolish, vampy fingerless glove thingies, loads of make up (including a totally fab black liquid eyeliner cobweb coming out of the corner of my eye), black skeleton necklace AND a black cape. When I went to pick up Cocoa, her son (who I see every day) did not even recognize me, "Wait a second. Which Michelle are YOU?" I know, I know..me, wearing long hair, make up and nails and whatnot, and NO photographic evidence. The mind boggles.

Truly I was surprised at how much I enjoyed myself, and how much I enjoyed the dressing up bit of it. I had several people tell me that dark hair suits me (hmmm...) and in the end it was decided that I need to get in my gear again and venture to school pick-up looking like that. You know, not a bad idea at all...

So - who is inviting me out next? This suburban mother goth is ready to PAR-TAY!

The Treadmill

Recently I had dinner with two girlfriends - people I've mentioned here but for the purposes of this post will keep anonymous. I brought up the topic of chaos, wanting to see if my in real life friends have this same sense of chaos that I do, or if it was my own special brand of crazy. Turns out we ALL suffer from chaos to varying degrees, but we've given it a new term: The Treadmill.

Thing about The Treadmill is, we're all on it, and we can't see any point at which it might stop. The Treadmill is work, the endless laundry, the homework and the house and the life which feels as though we will never, ever get ahead of what needs our attention. My friends have the same kinds of things on their treadmill - children, jobs, houses. We spoke at length about how women these days (parents or not) just never seem to stop... moving. One said she longed for another baby, JUST so she had a excuse to "check out" of her work for a year. Another said she wishes she never bought her house, just so that she didn't feel the desperation which comes with needing to come up with a mortgage payment every month. Without exception, we all feel as though we will never get ahead. At what point in our lives to we get to just ENJOY our lives?

I'm not saying I'm miserable. Compared to most I think I'm a pretty happy person living in a fairly happy life... but that's only because my personality meter is far more edged towards optimism. I have my days - more than I care to admit - where I just feel totally overwhelmed. I feel as though I will never, ever get off that infernal treadmill of people to see, things to do. Is life just like this? Where along the way did we as women stop enjoying life and start feeling as though it's just one endless To Do list?

We also commented that our parents - mothers in particular - never seemed to be as harried and flustered as we all are. Maybe they hid it better, maybe we just never noticed. Now it should be said that in all our cases, our parents had the means by which to call in resources - all of us grew up with cleaning ladies and lawn mower guys and that sort of thing. Thing is, ALL OF US have that too... and yet we still feel as if there is no getting ahead. Even with these resources, I feel as though I will never really get a handle on my life. I'll never have enough time to do what I need to do, and never have enough time to just sit and enjoy the fruits of my labours. Heck, I'll never have the time to just SIT.

In The Baker's Wife's comment on my chaos post, she says, "To me, you have a very normal life in that you seem to be saying you all manage meals together regularly, you have 3 juniors in bed at a reasonable time, you meet all your school/social commitments and earn money for the family to boot. " She's right in that I do manage to achieve all those things... but all those things, to me, are really only the basics. All she's really saying is that I manage to feed, clothe, feed and love my kids, hold down a job... but isn't there a whole lot more to life than that? Or if not, shouldn't there be?

Is this really because modern women feel they can - or should - have it all? Is it because society now has an expectation that women will work, and so we do even when we don't want to? Is it just the dearth of "time saving" devices like mobile phones and email - which eat up our "free" time? Time which we might otherwise spend enjoying a cup of tea, a game with our kids, a night our with our partners? Why do all of us feel as though we are SLOWLY DROWNING in our lives?

The sad thing is, in all our cases we noted that among all this chaos, something has got to give. For one, it's her marriage. For another, it's a lack of progress in a career which she has real talent in, but no money or time to pursue. For a third, it's a whole bunch of health issues which never seem to get resolved. All of us, without fail, were able to identify one or more things which are just...falling apart... as we endlessly walk that treadmill. The things which are falling apart are not a clean house, perfect make-up, and fancy cars. Instead the things suffering are the IMPORTANT ones. A happy marriage, good health, self-fulfilment. Things which, in my book, are non-negotiable.

One woman made the point that if we are ALL suffering, WHY DON'T WE CHANGE THINGS? Why don't we, as women, bond together to stop this madness? Why are we the ones who are our harshest critics, talking shit about the stay at home Mom, snickering at the stay at home Dad, snorting with derision about the Mom whose kids eat take-out every night. We point fingers, we laugh at one another, we gossip and we complain and we say, "Look what SHE is doing!" rather than trying to care for one another, support one another, offer resources and advice and good old fashoined help. The truth is I don't know why we don't try to change things. Maybe it's all too hard, maybe we don't have time to help a friend (too busy writing emails)... maybe it's going to take more than 3 women at dinner to change this craziness.

Opinions - if you have the time - all welcome.

Stranger Than Fiction

For anyone who doubted that my life is indeed chaos, or that crazy stuff only ever seems to happen to me, I present the latest in the "truth is stranger than fiction" category. The following are photos which I took of a recent series of text messages on my mobile phone.



...and because he knows me so well, he also said:


...well, he wasn't kidding. I did consider taking photos of the evidence, but even *I* have standards. Suffice it to say those were some seriously stressed out birds and the kids have some fabulous stories to tell about DH trying to shoo them out of the room. Just to add a certain believability to this story, I asked DH if he used a broom to sort of 'shoo' them out, to which he said, "No, I used this piece of bubble wrap which was in the back room."

Yes, my husband the tough guy went at a flock of birds with a large piece of bubble wrap.

P.S. Stop laughing! *grin*

Chaos, Revisited

Recently I was talking to someone about my life... a someone who does not know me personally, does not know the extent of my craziness (mothers in toilets and whatnot), and basically who knows very little about the day-to-day running of my life.

"So," says this someone, "You have triplets. A job. A business." "Yes," says I, "I do." Then that someone looked at me and said, "So without even knowing you, I know your life must be chaos. Meals eaten on the run, mutli-tasking, never feeling like you have enough hours in the day. Chaos, right?"

I mulled over this for a moment... because, really, I DON'T think my life is chaotic. Busy, yes. Sometimes a little over-full, yes. Full of adventures? Definitely yes. But I don't really think of my life as being chaos, unless we're talking CONTROLLED chaos, in which case maybe I qualify for that title. This conversation made me think about OTHER people's lives. Sure, the whole triplet thing means I've got a bit more happening than other people might, but other than that? I just lead a normal life...or at least I think it's normal.

Take, for example, The Baker's Wife. She's got two *little* kids, a business, a noctural husband. The Neighbour's Wife has three little kids, a full time job, a dog and is active at the kids' school, Poppet's Mum has 2 kids and is the sole breadwinner.... and so on and so forth. ALL the women I know are juggling multiple balls up in the air at the same time as mine... but then I never hear anyone describe their lives as chaotic. So is it really "the triplet factor" which ups the ante on my life? Is it just that I spin a good yarn and so my life, to the untrained ear, sounds crazier than most? Or, is it that other people cannot fathom life with triplets and so they make assumptions about my life and what it must be like?

Any other triplet parents - or parents who know my life, or parents who read about my life on this blog- care to weigh in on this? Is my life chaos, or is chaos just the new normal?

Feed a Crowd (Quickly)

The one thing I haven't told you in all of this is that I am quite possibly once of the laziest mothers and cooks you've ever met. I like to take the least amount of time and effort in order to achieve the maximum of success. So - how does this all work so well? - EASY. I employ child labour (to set the dinner table), I outsource (the dishes to DH) and I multi-task (more below.) Without all of that I don't think this would be as easy as it all is.

In terms of the multi-tasking - here are a few pointers:

- Lunches are made at the same time as afternoon snacks. If I waited until after dinner, or the next morning, it would just be a painful, annoying chore. I've also trained the kids to drop their lunch boxes on the kitchen counter IMMEDIATELY as they walk in the door so I don't need to go hunting. I find if I finish all the food prep jobs before dinner, that leaves me free evenings to do other things and I'm not standing in the kitchen all night.

- Dinner is made at the same time as I'm cleaning up from lunches. Similarly if I've peeled carrots for lunch, you can guarantee something peeled (potato, sweet potato, pumpkin) is also on the menu at dinner. The peeler is already dirty, right? If someone asks for rice crackers for their snack, that's what I use in the lunches as well since they are already out of the cupboard. Lazy, lazy, lazy - but it works.

- I prefer to cook dishes which involve loads of chopping rather than loads of cooking, because chopping is a whole lot faster! So - casseroles, one dish dinners, soups, etc are all a hit around here because I can chop like the bloody wind but I can't make a pot boil any faster. I'm a huge fan of 'fix it and forget it' style of dishes because I know it's ME who can make it faster to prepare, and then once it's on the stove or in the oven I can be doing other stuff.

- Clean up as you go. I do outsource dishes to DH, but similarly I don't think it's fair to leave him with a sink load of dirty pots and pans. So as much as I can (and as he will tell you, I sometimes fail) I try to use a pot and wash it. Usually I'll wash stuff while I'm waiting for something to simmer or reduce.

- A watched pot is a waste of time - learn to turn the heat up or down. Unless your kitchen is as big as a football field, you'll be able to get to a burning pot in time. Most things can be thrown into a pot and you can WALK AWAY for a minute, even if it's only to put away the lunch makings and so on. So if I'm sweating onions, I throw them in the pan, shimmy them around a bit, and then go do other smaller quick jobs before coming back in a minute or two to shimmy it some more. Of course use your common sense and don't walk from boiling oil, leave a pot handle sticking out, and so on. If you're worried about burning stuff, turn the heat down a bit until you're more confident.

- Learn to shimmy a pan (my own expression, not a cooking term.) In other words learn the pull-and-flick motion of turning things in a pan without using a spoon or utensil. It takes practice but it's totally doable (after all, chefs on TV manage it.) For beginners I highly recommend using a pan with rounded sides as it helps move the stuff kinda up and over.

- Use slave labour. My kids all know how to chop, peel and wash most vegetables, plus stir stuff in a pot (no shimmying allowed for kids under 10). Yours should too (although you can adjust the job for age appropriateness.)

- Read, read, read. I own a lot of cook books but I don't use very many of them - because I've discovered the very quickest of recipe finding is the 'net. Bloggers like sweetnicks and $5 dinners often post fast, inexpensive, family friendly meals. Get yourself a Google Reader account, find some really great parenting blogs which feature food (or food blogs which feature parents), and learn how to subscribe to those blogs. I've gotten some fantastic recipes from other bloggers who themselves are needing to feed a crowd. The joy of using Reader is that you can just scroll past the stuff which does not interest you.

- Lastly, admit defeat and order take-out once in a while. I won't tell.

That's it! I hope you guys have enjoyed this little mini-series of posts - it's been quite fun writing them all. I'd love to hear if any of you have adopted any of these hints, or have some of your own to share.

Feed a Crowd (Whenever)

One of the keys to my food-with-kids success is that I keep a really well stocked pantry. Formulas for lunch and dinner won't do anyone any good unless you actually HAVE the things you need with which to make said meals. So without further ado, here is a (mostly complete, I probably forgot some) list of the things you'll always find in my house. The quantities I've listed are minimums, so if I notice I have less than that, I'll buy what I need to bring it back up to minimum level. This is actually a chef trick - restaurants, cafes, etc have "par levels" of items they keep in stock. It's how you know what to prep/cook that day.

I'm excluding fresh fruit and vegetables since those are things I buy when I plan the week's meals, so I don't keep stock as such. I'm also really trying to get this to be a 'bare minimum' list - so some things which you might consider crucial (soy sauce, salad dressing, etc) are missing because I don't think they are essential to creating a family meal on the run.

The beauty of this list is that I know I can create "something out of nothing" if I've got most or all of them on hand. I can just look inside my pantry and know that there are any of maybe half a dozen "go to" recipes which can be made from what you see below. I've also excluded (most) dairy as I think that's a more personal preference item - we usually have slices of cheese, shredded cheese, yohurt and cream cheese at bare minimum (in addition to what is below.)

Protein:

- 1 kilo (2 lbs) minced beef in 500g (1 lb) bags
- enough chicken pieces (breasts or thighs) for one dinner
- sausages, a dozen of whatever flavour
- something which can be grilled (lamb chops, steaks, etc.)
- canned tuna x 3-4
- lentils, usually red as they cook faster

Flavour hits:

- salt
- pepper
- cinnamon
- a selection of basic dry herbs: basil, thyme, oregano
- a decent spice mix (I like Moroccan)
- Worcestershire sauce
- tomato sauce
- bbq sauce
- chicken stock (either cubes, prepared, frozen, UHT, whatever)

Fridge:

- butter
- milk
- eggs
- jar of minced garlic
- jar of minced ginger
- mayonnaise, not Australian style (it's crap)

Dry store:

- flour, both self-raising and plain
- sugar (white and brown)
- rice (I prefer doongara or basmati as they are both low GI)
- polenta
- oatmeal (instant is fine)
- baking powder
- baking soda
- cans of corn
- canned chopped tomatoes
- tomato paste
- cous cous
- pasta of various sizes/styles
- pancake mix (bought or make your own)
- breakfast cereal
- a wide array of dry crackers
- cocoa powder
- tortillas
- raisins
- olive oil and vegetable oil
- vinegar (of your choice)
- non-stick spray
- spreads (peanut butter, jam, vegemite, honey)
- bread crumbs

Frozen:

- bag of peas (does double duty as an ice pack)
- bag of potato chips/gems/wedges
- bag of mixed vegetables
- loaf of bread and/or bagels or other bread item

There you have it - if you're keeping a well stocked pantry, you're following some sort of plan (whatver that plan may be), you'll find that feeding a family isn't nearly as hard as some people seem to think. Of course, there are the nights when I just cannot be bothered, the nights when I'm desperate for a few hot chips, and the nights where adults and children alike are eating Cheerios and toast. Those nights, well, sometimes you need those for a bit of variety!

Stay tuned for the last in this series of posts - where I tell you the real secret to my success.

Feed a Crowd (Dinner)

Once people get over the fact that my kids do not have Cordon Bleu lunches, they often ask if we eat the most amazing, chef-inspired dinners. In a word: NO. I just don't have the time to be whipping up cauliflower foams and rhubarb brulee and a chiffonade of salad greens (don't you love the chef terms? That's to make me seem all superior.) Our meals need to be healthy, easy, and above all QUICK. Quick to make, quick to eat, and for DH's sake, quick to clean up. Part of our earlier aforementioned deal (which is not a deal so much as a rod for my back - slash - genius on my part since I never have to do dishes) is that he does all the clean up.

The evening meal is one which we all eat together, at the same time, sitting at the table. With proper plates and everything. It's how I grew up, how DH grew up, and we both feel it's an integral part of our life and family. We spend our dinners sharing our day, telling ridiculous jokes, talking about stuff and occasionally reverting to our child selves and holding burping contests (damn, I just ruined our whole Waltons image.)

The actual making of dinner is a pain in the ass, so to avoid meltdown tantrums (on my part), we once again we impart a "trip trick" and we use a formula:

Protein item + carb item x 1 + vegetable item x 1 (minimum) = Dinner and happy families

DH (and kids) are sworn carnivores, so the protein item is really what defines the rest of the meal. Sometimes it's ridiculously easy, like a steak or lamb chops or a roast or something which is the cooking method ofapply heat and ignore. Other times it requires more effort, like meatloaf or a stir fry, or roasted chicken, or something with more than just salt and pepper. Other times it's a one pot meal, or something I've marinated the night before. Either way it's the protein part of it which then defines the rest of the side dishes.

The sides - aforementioned carbs and veg - are again, ridiculously simple and easy. The carbs might be rice (cooked in stock for some flavour), couscous, polenta, quinoa, mashed potatoes, pasta and so on and so forth. The veggies might be cooked - roasted potato, frozen mint peas, boiled ears of corn, cooked mushrooms but they just might also be raw - salad, fresh sliced tomato or deconstructed salad (sliced, cut raw veg.)

Central to this whole easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy dinner making is the planning. We have a sheet on the fridge which has each day of the week listed, for a total of 3 weeks. So the paper is divided into 3 columns, with 7 rows. Sundays are always "catch as catch can" nights - so leftovers, maybe a take away, maybe dinner out, maybe the kids favourite of breakfast-as-dinner meal. Saturday nights are a Casa Verde tradition of Pizza & Beer night (more on this in another post...yes, we make our own pizza.) Friday nights are special so they are usually written in if we're staying here or going to family.

The rest of the nights of the week - so 12 nights for every 3 week period - are written in on our chart. If I know I've got meat in the fridge/freezer, I'll write all those in first and then fill in the side dishes. If I don't have ANY protein around, I'll pencil in a vegetarian night or two, and then head off the to butcher and see what's on special, what's in season, what looks nice. In the planning stage (which takes all of, ooohh...10 minutes) I'll also pull out a couple of the "I always wanted to try this" recipes which I have lying around. I try to put in one new recipe a week - keeps us from getting bored and if the recipe works, we add it into our 'regular favourites' to be dragged out again at a later date.

So once I've used whatever protein I've got, pencilled in whatever new recipes I want to try, and added side dishes to those - I'll ask DH or the kids to nominate stuff. More often then not they have suggestions, or requests (tacos is always in demand....). Several times the kids have looked through magazines (I can highly recommend Super Food Ideas for quick, cheap meal ideas) and picked stuff out which they think they will like.

Once I go to order our fruit and veg (we do this online), I know pretty much what I need for each weeek. Again, if something is on special or in season, I'll order it and add it to the list as a side dish. The meal plan list isn't set in stone - sometimes things get moved around, or crossed off, or ignored altogether. However having a plan - of whatever kind - means I'm not standing in my kitchen at 530 every night trying to answer the most annoying cry of, "What's for dinner?"

The benefits of planning are multiple - the kids are involved, we have very little food which we throw out (because it got forgotten at the back of the fridge), we take advantage of seasonal/economical products, and we get to try new things. We almost never have the same thing - other than Saturday nights- it can take 6 or more weeks for a meal to pop up again. Above all, I can forgo my nightly Prozac because I am not stressing out about feeding 3 hungry kids and 1 hungry DH in a manner of minutes. . Sure, there are times when I'd like to be making a slow roasted something-or-other, or really making more multi-layered dishes, or just exercising my chef chops a bit harder. I save those for weekends ... when I've got some free time on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I'm quite happy to hand make bread, slow roast lamb shanks, and so on and so forth. Mid-week, once I've picked the trio up from school I cease being a chef and I put my Mum hat on - a hat which I'm far happier to wear, and one which does not totally bugger up my hair.

Without further ado, here are some meals which are from the last few weeks:

Lamb chops / Israeli Salad / Cous Cous

Devilled sausages / Mashed potato / Sliced Tomatoes

Chicken streusel / Basmati Rice / Salad

Roast leg of lamb / Roast pumpkin / Mint peas

Crumbed fish / Oven baked chips / Salad

Chicken meatballs / Risoni pasta / Garlic bread

Homemade sausage rolls / Roasted sweet potato / Honey and orange carrots

Grilled marinated chicken / Quinoa / Grilled asparagus and zucchini

Asian meat loaf / Mashed potatoes / Green beans

French Onion Soup / Bread for dipping / Purple cabbage salad

Burritos: Beef, tortillas, lettuce, tomato, avocado, cheese, Spanish rice

So there you have it - all simple, relatively healthy, mostly cost effective family meals. We're not eating in a 5 star restaurant - but we're enjoying our time together as a family, eating things which are good for us and delicious too, and all is right with the world.

Want to know more? Ask in the comments below.

Feed A Crowd (Lunch)

When people hear I have triplets, and then hear I am a chef, they always say, "Wow! Your kids must have the BEST lunch boxes!" This of course makes me laugh, as the one job in the world I really, really, really hate (next to cleaning my house) is making school lunches. It's boring, it's annoying, and it happens most nights of the week. DH and I struck a deal (and by deal I mean he just made himself seem incompetent at lunch making, thus making it faster and easier for me to do it myself) whereby the first person home each night is responsible for dinner and lunches (and baths, and readers, and homework, and, and, and!)

No great surprise, the lunch job is mine 99.99% of the time, and if I do say so myself, my kids have KICK ASS lunches. Lunches which do not have junk food OF ANY KIND in them, with the possible exception of the dry crackers which may veer kinda close to not-so-healthy. Their lunches rock not because I am a chef, but because I apply what Jenn would call an "Amazing Trip Trick" - and that is, a parenthack which makes life with triplets bearable. So my ATT for lunches is simple: I apply a formula.

The formula looks something like this:

1 main + 2 herbavore items + dry crackers + bonus item = happy mother and fabulous lunch.

So the "main" part consists of the bulk of the meal, and includes stuff like:
- sandwich
- leftovers from the night before (slice of quiche, pasta, whatever)
- sushi hand rolls

And for variation in the main part:
- change of bread (pita, bagel, fruit loaf, bread roll, mountain bread...)
- change of filling (all the usual plus various dip options like smoked trout mousse, hummus blah blah and sometimes wierd stuff like a plain omlette)
- change/add veggies in sandwich: lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado

The herbavore items are as follows:
- 2 pieces of fruit
- 2 pieces of vegetable
- 1 fruit, 1 veg

And for variation in the herbavore part:
- mini Roma tomatoes
- kiwis with a kiwi spoon
- applesauce in those little box thingies
- anything in a stick - carrot, cucumber, etc etc
- whole, normal sized Romas which can be eaten as an apple might be

The dry crackers part is self explanatory, but even here I change it up:
- Corn thins
- Rice crackers
- Shapes
- Water crackers
- Rye Vitas
- Those wierd cardboard flat yellow sponge cracker things, no idea what they are called
- pretzels
...and pretty much whatever interesting dry cracker/crunchy item is on sale

The "bonus" item is something other than any of the above. If I haven't got a bonus item in the fridge or pantry, I'll just add in another sandwich. Here are some examples of bonus items:

- yoghurt, either tub or tube
- slice of bread/simple banana cake/basic muffin or something else I've baked
- Extra slice of fruit bread, buttered or jammed or honeyed
- a third herbavore option if we've just gotten a fruit/veg delivery and everything looks fabulous

I realise this sounds like a ridiculous amount of effort to go to for what is basically a sack lunch... but my kids come home almost every day having eaten everything I've given them, I know they are getting a balanced, nutritious meal to keep their minds happy during the day (because goddammit, I want value for my private school dollars) and it means that during the hysteria hours (4-6pm) I don't have to think very hard.

Further to the success of this ATT is to make lunches in bulk. So I line up the boxes and dole out the items as though I am doling out cards: fruit, fruit, fruit, veg, veg, veg and so on and so forth. Super organised Mums (of which I am not one) would probably pre-package all the dry stuff when they get it. So buy a big box of some sort of cracker and pre-portion it into lunchbag size. Take a big box and throw all the pre-portioned bits in ... so that during the week you really only need to grab the bags which are already done and stuff them in the box. You could probably do the same with fruit which needs prep, but since I'm lazy most of the fruit we buy needs NO prep - mandarins, grapes, bananas, apples and so on.

My last word of lunch making advice is to keep it simple. So don't go giving your kids apples which are peeled and quartered and carrots cut into flowers. Leave most things whole, au natural... and like animals, when they get hungry enough they'll eat just about anything.*

* Before all you parents of picky eaters flame me, YES, I am blessed with kids who will eat just about anything, and who actually love and adore fruit and veg. I attribute this to my good training more than anything else, but that's a blog post for another day.

Worst Marketing Ever

A couple of nights ago I sent DH to the supermarket. Before all you men's libbers out there get annoyed at me, the reality of it is that DH *loves* going to the supermarket and I've trained him to be pretty good at it. Plus he's a night owl, so he quite enjoys wandering in empty supermarkets with nobody for company but the shelf stackers - while I stay at home in my warm bed with my cup of tea and books. You tell me who is getting the better deal here!

Here at Casa Verde we meal plan three weeks in advance - mostly because it makes my life easier, but also because we can plan our shopping a lot better. It has actually dramatically reduced our food bills, dramatically reduced my need for my 6pm Prozac, and improved the quality of our dinners enormously. I realised, though, that I had forgotten to defrost any meat for the next night's meal - so I asked DH to pick up some sort of meat which was on special and I'd use that as the protein for the meal.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the fridge later and saw these:


Yes, that says "KANGA BANGAS." Now I know that English/Australian slang for sausages is "bangers" as in the ubiquitous "bangers and mash"... but seriously? Kanga Bangas? Am I the only person out there who looks at this and immediately imagines porn sites with people having sex with kangaroos? Someone needs to fire that marketing guy. Quite possibly the WORST product name ever. [Sidenote: It says on the packet, "For best results, soak in vegetable oil for 10 minutes before cooking." Excuse me while I *hurl* into the packet directly.]

My life being what it is (entirely crazy), I took a closer look at these... bangas... and thought, "Geez, they even kinda LOOK like kangaroos willies!" Note, I've never seen a kangaroo's penis up close... so these are what I imagine a kangaroo penis looks like:


As it happens, DH did not disagree with me on this...although he may or may not have seen one up close. He is a true blue Aussie after all, and who KNOWS what those kids see in their childhood. He and I sat down and tried to come up with a worse name for this product. Yes, worse than Kanga Bangas.

I'm both pleased and ashamed to report that my product name forced DH to laugh so hard he snorted.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen... I'm talking about a tray of honest-to-god, 100% Australian, get them while they're hot...SKIPPY SCROTES.

After that, there was not a chance in hell I was either eating those or feeding them to my kids. So I did what any self respecting person did and I fed those things to the dog.. who promptly spat them out. I guess he doesn't like kangaroo penises, either.

I Fell For It

Recently DS has been really into reading non-fiction books and sharing endless facts about things I could care less about. How many rings around Saturn, which country has the most stars on it's flag, the height of the pyramids, the distance a roll of toilet paper can be unrolled to and so on and so forth. Because I am a fairly lazy parent, I only ever really listen with half an ear when he shouts, "MUM?!?! MUM!?!? Did you KNOW that the Mars Rover can move at a speed of [insert complex number]? Isn't that COOL??"

Or "Mum? MUM!! Which planet has a storm which has been raging for thousands of years?" "Ummm... dunno... Uranus? Ha ha, I just said Uranus!" "MUM! That isn't funny. It's Jupiter." (me, feeling lame), "Oh. Okay. Umm... cool."

Anyway his annoying factoids have been going on for weeks and weeks now. I'm trying to be tolerant - because I am proud of his interest in this stuff - but you know, the endless, "MUM? MUM?!?! MMMMUUUMMMM?!?!" kinda gets on my nerves, particularly when I am a) on the toilet, b) on the phone or c) trying to send email or d) doing essential things like reading trashy chick-lit novels.

At dinner the other night, DS turns to me and says (in the same "did you know?" voice he's adopted for his fact-sharing) "MUM? Do you know why igloos are always round?" So, voice heavy with exhaustion and weariness over his now-not-cute habit, I say, "No, Jules. I DON'T know why igloos are always round." (Mental note: Nor do I give a shit.)

...and that kid looks at me, smiles this enormous grin and says, "Igloos are round... so that penguins can't hide in the corners!"

Damn kid. He got me!!