Death Night Food

Later this year, one of the organisations DH and I support is holding a fund raising night - a "Newlywed Game" night where married couples get to answer questions about one another. (Have you ever noticed that the word newlywed looks weird? It's one of those words which looks misspelled even when it isn't. Okay, sorry, tangent.) Anyway today DH asked me if I would be willing to subject myself to being a contestant in this going-to-be-embarrassing spectacle of human behaviour. Me being me (an attention seeking fame hound and overall competitive person) immediately agreed.

Of course, me being me, I also came to the conclusion that DH and I *must* win this game. I commented that we would win because we know each other so well. So well in fact that it's almost a bit scary, to be honest. He then rightly pointed out that some of the other recruits have been married for 20, 30, 40 years, while he and I have been married for only 10 (and a half) years. What chance have we got against the old fogies? Ha! (says I) Ha! We will win because....we will study! So I immediately bombard DH with a whole load of potential game questions. Favourite colour? Colour of your toothbrush? First concert? Favourite hobby? Lucky undies..or lucky socks? and so on...until I came to, "If you could have one last meal before you die, what would it be?"

Now I tried to guess what DH would have, before he said it.

My Guess: Anything involving loads of meat, and probably something fried, too.

His Answer: A really, really, really good roast beef sandwich with loads of horseradish cream(not unlike the one we had in York), some really, really, really properly cooked chips (hot, golden, salted, delicious), minted peas (WTF??), some roasted veggies (again, I say, WTF??) and then he mumbled on about dessert which involved mostly dark chocolate ice cream and a pavlova without the fruit.

Result: One point to the Green team (note meat products mentioned, and fried stuff, too.)

His Guess: Bread, bread, bread, bread and a side of bread and for dessert more bread. Did I mention your Death Night food would include bread?

My Answer: An unlimited basket of crunchy fresh baked bread served with loads of softened, salted French butter and extra salt flakes, a big ol' chicken schnitzel (breaded!), a mound of sticky rice cooked in chicken stock (oohhh...comfort food), a side order of a grilled cheese sandwich done in butter (with white bread and crappy American orange cheese...there goes the bread again), and for dessert a big wedge of fresh fruit tart (with custard and pastry base) and some seriously good, premium ice cream (probably oreo flavour.)

Now at this point I came to the conclusion that if I actually ate all of that, my heart would sieze up due to the cholesterol, fat and sugar overload. But then who cares, since I'm dying soon anyway?

Result: One more point to the Green team (note bread/bread products mentioned more than once.)

Needless to say this got the kids talking about what their last meals would be...with DS deciding that "fruit, fruit and more fruit....like twenty hundred plums and eight million apricots and a zillion peaches and don't forget the watermelon" was a good choice. Hey, at least he was dying knowing he was getting some nutritional value out of it (unlike his mother's meal).

Clearly with as long-winded answers as these, DH and I have a lot of work to do if we're going to kick the asses of the octogenarians. Then again, maybe not. If we talk as much at the event as we do in real life, the old buggers will just fall asleep.

Victory!