So Creepy I Can Hardly Blog About It

First, the backstory: Feet kinda creep me out.

Second, the preface to this story: A couple of weeks ago I noticed my cleaning lady wearing some familiar-looking flip flops. They were, in fact, the exact same design that DD2 has. At the time I didn't think much of it, because I bought these for about five bucks at KMart. I mostly thought it was interesting that they would have the same pair (because these suckers are UGLY). That was it.

The story: Today I get home, and I notice that my cleaning lady is wearing MY SON'S CROCS. I know they are my son's shoes because of the Jibbitz on them. I stand there for a second, and incredulously look at her feet...and then I ran out of the room like a bat outta hell because I was so totally creeped out by this. A stranger is wearing my son's shoes, and she's barefoot in them. Is there anything in the world more creepy and gross than this?

Oooh. *all over body shudder*

Thing is, this is totally different to the kids loaning their shoes to each other, or even to a friend (like at the pool or something.) This is a total stranger, borrowing our personal things, without asking. It should be said that the cleaning lady is very nice, and clean herself. It's not HER per se, it's the whole other people wearing my son's shoes thing. So I hid in the office for a while, but eventually the need to hurl drove me out to confront her. I wander into the kitchen, pretend to do a double take, and say, "Are those my son's shoes you're wearing?"

It took a supreme amount of willpower not to snatch those babies off her feet and throw them in a vat of acid, let me tell you.

Cleaning lady just laughed and told me her shoes were too tight, and HIS looked comfortable, so she put them on. The conversation then just got more and more wierd ...because I mentioned many, many times that he wouldn't appreciate her wearing his shoes...and yet she made no move to take them off. She claimed to have "loads" of flat, comfortable shoes at home, but admitted she can't be bothered to bring them with her to work. She also said she likes "fancy" shoes, and fancy shoes are not comfortable for working in.

Oh. My. God. PEOPLE! This is so horribly, horribly, gross and wierd and YUCK on so many levels, you have no idea.

*more shuddering and arm flapping*

Literally, we talked for maybe 5-6 minutes, me saying, "I REALLY don't think he would like you wearing his shoes..." I'm too much of a wimp to demand she take them off, and I couldn't directly tell her that I didn't think it was appropriate. I kinda thought by the fourth 'I REALLY don't think.." she would get the hint. She didn't. I went on and on about where she can buy the same shoes, how you can get them for not too much money, etc. She just kept smiling and laughing and not seeing it as a problem.

In the end I had to go pick up the kids from school, and when I finally said, "He's really not going to be happy with this," she said, "I'm nearly done here anyway. I'll take them off before he gets home."

OY VEY. Seriously? You think that hiding your creepy shoe borrowing habits makes it OKAY? I did what any self-respecting foot-hater would do and I ran. Again. Like hell. I then proceeded to call both DH and the Neighbour's Wife and screech down the mobile to them about how utterly freaked out I was.

DH's comment was that this really is about boundaries, and her crossing boundaries, and about how it kinda speaks to her reliability in a way. If she thinks it's perfectly okay to borrow stuff (esp something personal like shoes) and not ask...what ELSE is she going to think is okay to borrow?

Neighbour's Wife very unhelpfully commented that shoes...are a mere tiny step away from...underwear.

Yes.

My heart stopped beating then, too.

There have been a few other bits and pieces about her work which I don't love, but overall she's pretty okay so I was going to stick with her. This was,of course, before THE SHOES INCIDENT. My plan for now is basically to call the agency and tell them that next week is her last week with us. I'm only giving her one more week so I can get my key back... because the last cleaning lady mailed me my key, only to have it 'disappear' in the mail, and thus costing me $250 in new locks for the whole house.

...and of course, while escaping the hell which is the sight of someone else's feet in my kid's shoes...I realised WHY the cleaning lady's flip flops looked so familiar. People, she's been wearing my kids shoes for WEEKS. Months, possibly.

I'd keep writing this post, but I think I'm going to hurl.