I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Perspective is a Beautiful Thing

I had lunch with an old work colleague recently, and we got to talking about weight (as you do when you're female and in your 30's. We're all obsessed, even those skinny chicks who claim they are not.) We were talking about how when we were younger and thinner (although I didn't really qualify for the 'thinner' bit of the conversation), we always thought we were overweight. These days we look back at our younger selves and think, "How on earth could I have that that was overweight?" We think about what we weighed then versus what we weigh now and it just seems light years different. NOW, we would do almost anything to be the weight we were then. THEN, we would do almost anything to be 5, 10, 15 pounds lighter.  We never seem to be satisfied with just the way we are.

The conversation with my friend made me think about how we always think about our weight (or our appearance) as something either we long for in the past, or hope for in the future. We never seem to just love with the skin we're in, do we? Either we're fretting about how things used to be, or we're hoping (and in some cases, working towards) a different or better future. I also got to thinking about how there are things in our lives which act as massive "yield" signs to the rest of our lives. Because something hasn't happened yet, we don't move forward with the stuff we really would like to do - we just spend our time gazing ahead at what will be., effectively stuck at the crossroads with the big yield sign.

Let's think about this for a second. How many times have you said, "I'm totally going to go on holiday / post an online dating profile / buy a new dress/ approach that cute girl / learn to surf...as soon as I lose twenty pounds." or "If only I could lose twenty pounds, I would feel so much better, which would totally change everything."

This whole "when I do X, good thing Y will happen" isn't just unique to weight loss of course. The same thing can be true of most things which hold us back - "as soon as I find the right guy" "as soon as I pluck up the courage to ask for a divorce" "as soon as I buy some new clothes" "as soon as I start my business"...whatever. So often we decide that something - someone - some situation - is the reason why we don't do what we would like to do...when our energy would be better spent just DOING that thing, wouldn't it?

I of course am no paragon of virtue here, so I fall into this same trap, most specifically with money and weight.  So I end up thinking about what I might like to do once I'm thinner (note to self, you ARE thinner, go and bloody well DO that stuff), or I end up thinking about how things might be different if I did not worry about money quite as much as I do.

Why is that? Why don't we just DO that thing which is holding us back? Why don't we just DO that thing we want to, regardless of the item which is the yield sign? What, exactly, are we all waiting for?With all the sadness surrounding the people I love, you would think I take this opportunity to realise that life is short, opportunities are many, and no good ever came of just waiting around waiting for life to happen.

In five years time, am I going to look back at this time in my life and think, "I WISH I had the time, money, energy (whatever) I did then!" Just like with the weight perspective my friend and I discussed- where we looked back and wished we were as thin as  we used to be. While I am not one to live with regret (yet another colossal waste of time,) I also don't want to long for the things I "coulda, shoulda, woulda" done way back when I was thinner, smarter, richer....

All this thinking is making me wonder what (if anything) I'd really like to be doing now that I'm not doing - is there anything holding me back and if so WHAT am I going to do about it? I think I'm going to keep thinking on this for a while, and make it a priority to actually DO some of that stuff in the coming months, because life is short, opportunities are many, and the time is NOW.

Is there anything you would like to be doing which you are waiting on, for whatever reason?

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