I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Sunday, August 26, 2012


I recently spent some time with the only kids who compete with my own for title of, "Kids I Tolerate Best," - namely my sister's three. The two older ones are fabulously well-adjusted teenagers and they are very good at educating me in the ways of the teenage world. It's because of them that I have an entirely crap-tastic hold of the English language but can now ROFLMAO with the best of them. This recent visit, my nephew taught me a new acronym - YOLO. It stands for "You Only Live Once," and apparently it's origins lie in some sort of rap song. So you can smoke them bongs, screw them bitches, ride in your low rider, and get all up in some ho's face and none of it will matter because, you know, YOLO.

I'm sure you all have figured out just how much this expression is RIGHT up my alley. Word on the teenage street is that this expression has now made it into daily (okay, facebook) usage but it's often used to explain away doing totally stupid things. Like... "I just failed my fourth math test, but YOLO." "I'm thirteen and pregnant with the child of my married history teacher, but hey, YOLO!"

Ever since I've learned this expression, the number of times I've either thought (or said out loud), "YOLO!" is ..well, probably too many for a self-respecting adult such as myself. The beauty of this expression is of course that it instantly makes any problem in the world seem very, very small and turns even the worst situation into something worth celebrating.

Untrue but funny as hell examples of how this works:

We can't pay the mortgage this month, but the bank will totally understand, because YOLO!
The children have run off to join the circus (eg the Church of Scientology). Good on them. YOLO!
Husband's penis has grown 6 inches and is now answering back when I talk to it, that's so awesome, YOLO!

You get the idea.

YOLO is the noughties version of "What- EVAH" but it's way, way WAY more fun to use. Try it.

1) Complain about something. Anything at all.
2) Either yell YOLO out loud or in your head. I'm not sure why it requires yelling but it does. Either use the expression with enthusiasm or don't bother.
3) Enjoy the instant happiness.

Bonus points to ANYONE brave enough to post a sentence (real or fake) which is somehow improved simply by adding a good ol' YOLO to the end of it.

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