Please, Talk Me Down From The Edge

I don't think one should blog when one is feeling really, really, really irritable. I might end up saying things I don't really mean, or cursing a lot, or just plain old exploding. At the same time, blogging is almost as good as therapy, only a lot less expensive and a lot more socially acceptable.

Things Giving Me The Shits:

1. My kids. Who complain when they wake up that they are tired, complain when they leave school that they are tired, complain through dinner they are tired....and then hit the sack and spend HOURS piss-farting around, picking fights with one another, and coming down the stairs forty thousand times. If you went to SLEEP instead of doing all that shit, you might not be so tired. Doesn't take a genius (or three.) Or maybe it does.

2. My DH's work. He used to make fun of me, when I worked for a large university, that all the work that I did was "more public service than the public service." He used to say it because of all the inefficiencies, all the back-talking, all the games playing. I hated when he would say that, but karma, as we know, is a bitch. Henceforth why he is now dealing with government, and politics, and assholes who tell you "you're doing great" all the way through the process, only to say "actually, you've fucked it all up" 48 hours before you need to hand over your deliverable. While I enjoy the financial benefits of his job, I HATE what it does to him and his self-esteem and to our family life. Yeah. Public service. Hmmm.

3. The heat. Oh god the heat.

4. One of my family members (left unnamed to as not to offend) who seems to think I am running some sort of kiddie business as opposed to a fully-fledged, money making, growth venture. This family member reminds me, continually, in a condescending way, that I need to make sure that the business is making money, that I need to just keep assessing and then close it all down if it's not paying itself back immediately. I'm flattered that this person cares, and that they are trying to be supportive. However the constant reminders and assumptions that I didn't think about these things before I went into business are starting to irk me in a big way. I get it, you're worried. It's very sweet of you, but here it is in black and white: I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. PLEASE STOP ACTING AS THOUGH I DON'T. For once, congratulate me on a job well done or say, "Wow! That's great that you have so many orders!" and then DON'T follow it up with, "You know you'll need to make sure you have done a proper cash flow report, and that you assess in 6 months and then decide if it's worth going on..." I understand your concerns, but rest assured this is MY business, and therefore I am capable of looking after it. You also know nothing about running a food-based business. I DO. I love you, but you're beginning to make me not want to answer the phone when you call.

5. My landlord, who for all the world reminds me of my Dad with his irritating remarks and his looking at the things I produce and then says things like, "Oh. It's a cake." NO SHIT SHERLOCK, I'm a CAKE BUSINESS. Argh! Plus he (after nearly 6 months) doesn't seem able to provide me with an accurate lease to sign.

6. The lady in the kitchen next to me, who calls me "Mich" without first asking if that's okay. I DON'T LIKE being called Mich, get it? There are a very, very select few who are allowed to call me that. As in, my blood relations and maybe one other person. You? YOU NEED TO CALL ME BY MY WHOLE NAME. We are not, repeat, not on a nickname basis.

7. The couple who had 2 very long meetings with me to discuss the worlds most simple wedding cake. I thought they had a small budget, so I under-quoted them to be nice. I came in on Sundays...TWICE...to meet with them. I bent over backwards providing quotes, providing samples, etc. They then commented that the icing was "very sweet" (umm...really? Were you hoping for SOUR?!) and then didn't give me the gig. God have mercy, people.

8. The hideous amount of spam I am getting from companies trying to get me to advertise with them. This is due in part to my other website going live and getting listed on a jillion and one search engines. I'm glad about that part, but not so glad about offers to reach "8,000+ people a day for only $50 a month." Yeah, right. I read the small print and discover you also want my first born. Leave me ALONE and stop flooding my inbox, okay?

9. The fact that I am way behind in articles for my other gig, and yet I am having a hard time summoning the energy to write anything. Not sure why that is, which in itself is an irritant.

...and the very last thing which is irritating me:

10. My favourite squishy yoga-esque pants have developed an inoperable hole, in an conspicuous place. I know the pants are ugly. I know they are unflattering. I know I shouldn't wear them...and now, sadly, I can't even if I want to. Don't advise me to go and buy more. It just wouldn't be the same!

It goes without saying that there are loads and loads of things which are making me very, very happy today. In fact on most days, I can do that positive thinking exercise where you think about at least ONE good thing a day which has happened. This website is very good at that. I often read it because her positive thinking thing makes me feel a little less, well, scratchy.

So I could, and probably should, write a blog post about the things which are making me happy. But somehow that's just not nearly as much fun.

(Ed: LOL. I just Googled "irritating" to find a good image to put at the top of this post. All I found were loads of pictures of creams and lotions which claim to be anti-irritating. Maybe I should get myself some of that stuff!)