I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Monday, September 6, 2010

New Year

So it would seem I've not been the best blogger I could have been this past year...but then, events of the past year have been, while blog-worthy, also emotionally challenging. So I've let my blogging slide in favour of time spent under the covers, bowls of cereal late at night, visits to the gym for some mind-clearing time, and endless hugs and time spent with my kids and DH. Not that I didn't do those things BEFORE my annus horribillis (not a condition requiring softer toilet paper - it describes a type of year) ... but this year I revelled in those things, and I didn't make time to blog about them. This year, I resolve to be a better (or at least more frequent) blogger.

How can I make new year resolutions in September? Well, this Thursday is Jewish New Year, which is followed by the Yamim Noraim (the Days of Awe.) Over this period of ten days, you are meant to reflect on the year that was and ask for forgiveness for all the bad stuff you did. For me, I tend to ask The Big Man Upstairs (who, I should say, I've had a tumultuous relationship with thus far. I have some believing issues...) to listen to my various requests for the new year. 10 years ago, I sat in temple asking TBMU to please, please, please let at least one of those eggs in that lab grow into a viable embryo. I then famously had to leave temple in the middle of New Year services in order to undergo the transplantation of said embryos. Some days later I sat in temple again, begging TBMU for those embryos to continue to grow and thrive...and as I write this, those 3 embryos are now upstairs asleep in their beds. So it would seem that, on occasion, TBMU listens to his flock...and reminds us to be careful what we wish for.

This year I have quite a lot to ask forgiveness for... mostly because there have been times when I have not been kind when I could have been, not been patient when I needed to be, talked a whole lot of smack (I'm a gossiper. There you go. It is what it is.), and ate too much stuff although I'm not entirely sure that's sinful. I also probably lied, coveted other people's stuff, and in general did not act as holy I could have. What I DID do this year was try to be the best sister, friend, mother and daughter that I knew how to be given the situations I faced. I think that's got to count for something.

Without further ado, TBMU, here are the things I would like you to consider giving me this year if you can take a break from protecting soldiers, helping the Oreo company make a calorie-free version, and keeping tsunamis from happening too often.

1. A job for DH. Not just any job, but one which will leave him happy, content, and proud of himself. He deserves it - because he is not only a good father and good husband, but just a good person.

2. Some sort of acceptance on my part. Acceptance that my Dad is gone, that my kids will grow up and be okay, that I will never be a Size 10, and that sometimes it's okay not to be cheerful all the time.

3. Peace. There is a page in our friday night prayer book which lists a bunch of things we want peace for - peace for soldiers fighting wars, peace for people struggling with themselves, and so on. So I want that whole page to come true. Incidentally, my personal favourite line refers to peace for parents who are worried about their children, and peace for children who are worried about their parents. I like the idea that it can go both ways.

That's it. I only want 3 things. Truth be told I could come up with a whole long list of things I really want...but then this holiday is not about being selfish. It's about being introspective, and when I really, really think about it - those 3 things are all I really want. I don't think it's too much to ask for..and if it is, well, call me selfish and then I'll repent for that next year. Never too late to start planning...

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