I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Monday, March 12, 2012

The General Public

Phew, it got all serious in here for a second, didn't it? Just to reassure you all that I am still as cheerful, optimistic and grateful as ever (and to lighten the mood a bit around here), I'm going to share some of my "did they really just say that?" moments from work:

1) Email exchange:
Dear X, Thanks for your order, I received it and payment was processed, I'll get that out in today's post.
Dear M, Thanks for the prompt service, I appreciate it.
(one day later)
Dear M, I got my order, thanks!
(one day later again)
Dear M, I'm still waiting on my confirmation, your website said I would be emailed a confirmation of my order.

2) Phone exchange at 4pm:
Her: Hi, I am the PA for (insert name of person I've never heard of.) I need a (lots and lots of details) cake because I've *finally* convinced (person I've never heard of) not to bake the cake herself.
Me: Okay, great, we can do that. When did you need it for?
Her: Tomorrow morning at 10am.
Me: I'm really sorry but there is no way we can create (lots of details) cake for you by tomorrow morning. However I can create (lots of other options.) I can also recommend some other cake makers but you might struggle to find someone who can make something so detailed in that time frame.
Her:  Yeah, we figured that we would run into this problem. I guess if I don't find anyone this afternoon we'll just keep calling tomorrow morning until we DO find someone.

(Why she thinks her chances will be better on the DAY OF the event? God knows. Me, I'd be finding a new PA.)

3) Email exchange:

"Hi, attached is a picture of a cake I want. I got someone else to quote on it but I want your price as well. Can you please send me a quote?"
(Attached picture is of a 5 tier HUGE wedding cake.)
Me: How many people did you need to feed with this cake?
Her: How should I know? As many as the cake in the picture will feed.
Me: Hard to estimate size looking at a picture, but I think you would get about 200 servings out of that.
Her: Really? We're only having 15 people. No wonder the last quote was so expensive.

4) Email: Hi, I'm having a party this weekend and I'm wondering, can you send me some pictures of cakes I might like?

Answer in my head: I'm good, but not good enough to have ESP as to what you might like.

5) Phone conversation:
Her: What sort of cupcake flavours do you offer?
Me: We've got 9 (list them).
Her: Oh so nothing interesting then. No bubblegum flavour?

Answer in my head: WTF? Bubblegum flavour cupcakes?

6) Email: Can you give me a quote on the cake picture I've attached? I want it exactly like that, only where it's purple I want white, swap out the circles for squares, make the flowers into hearts, and I want 6 tiers, not 2. Oh, and I'd also like to change the cake topper, and the green leaves can just be taken off, and if you could make the cake rectangular that would be great. But I want it *exactly* like in the picture."

7) Email at noon: Hi. Can I pick up a birthday cake this afternoon?

In my head reply: No, because you've proven yourself incapable of picking up a PHONE to ask. This is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine, people who want something very short notice (as in, less than a few hours) but email a request through rather than call it through.

On the whole, people are generally nice and understanding and lovely...but lately we've had a bunch of people (like the above) who make you scratch your head and think, "Seriously?!" Never a dull moment...

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