Like a *bleeping* sailor

When I got home today DH said to me, "You know your most recent blog? Ahem, the last line?!" ... and then he gave me a look-down-his-nose-stern-Dad look. He's referring to the fact that I used a curse word in that last line. (Don't believe me? Scroll down.) A few days ago someone at work commented that I am very "expressive" - which was a nice way of saying that I curse like a sailor. As in, A LOT. In almost every sentence, usually more than once in a sentence. Lots of s, f, and other alphabetical swear words (but never C) get used when I'm at work. Partially this is because all the kitchens I've worked in tend to be male dominated, fairly aggressive, and stressful. Partially because it's just a bad habit I've picked up from working with people under the age of 25, and partially because I kinda like it. Yes, it's true. I *like* swearing. I mean why say "poop" when you can say "sh*t"? "I've got to cook, like, 40 kilos of freakin' mushrooms in, like, 10 freakin' seconds" sounds wwwaaayyyy better than "So I need to cook a lot of mushrooms very quickly." See what I mean? One way: cool chef, the other way: dorky loser chef.

Anyway - after this person made this comment, I started to listen to myself. I realised just how much I was cursing. Know what? It's pretty terrible. I daresay I even shocked myself a bit! Who knew I had such a potty mouth? So I resolved then and there to turn over a new leaf, and to stop the swearing. To be fair, I hardly swear at home - and mostly it's only when DH is around - but at work, wooo-weee, I should wash my OWN mouth out with soap. So it's been three days since my resolution, and I'm faring pretty well. I've only had one or two purely slip-out swear words happen (which I then apologised for) and I'm finding that a kinder, gentler emzee has emerged. I quite like it, this whole holier-than-thou-reformed-curse-girl thing. It's refreshing.

So I understood why DH was somewhat - disapproving - of my blatant use of a curse word. So this brought me to my newest resolution, which is that IRL (in real life) there is no cursing allowed. On my blog, however, I can use it for artistic expression and for making me sound funnier than I am.

I mean, for fuck's sake, how perfect does he expect me to be?