I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

You Know You're a Parent of Triplets When...

....your laundry pile reaches your armpit (literally). (Note: I am 6 feet tall.)

....you go to get the kids a small after school snack and it costs you $21.

...you see nothing wrong with parading around in the nude, because frankly they've seen it all from barging in on you anyway.

...you spend $300 on groceries and two days later, there's "nothing they like" to eat in the pantry.

...it takes 0.45 seconds for your house to go from immaculate to hurricane ravaged.

...no matter how many multi-pack rolls you buy, there will never, ever be enough toilet paper.

...whatever happens, HE did it.

...whatever happens, it wasn't MY fault.

...your hearing starts to go at age 32. Not because you're getting old, but because of all the screaming in your ear. Sorry? What did you say?

...you forget your kids names regularly. "Hey, Lex-no-Ki-no...WHOEVER you are, would you PLEASE stop whistling in my ear!!

...you have read almost every single beginning reader book in all the levels 1-31. You know some by heart.

...you are sure that your purchases alone cover the rent at the local K-Mart/Target.

...you often find yourself sounding like your Mom, "You call this clean?" "ALL I ask of you is to clean your room. Is that SO hard?!"

...you find yourself pricing 7-seater cars on the web. The next day when your daughter over hears you talking about this and interrupts your conversation to yell, "MUM! MUM! I think you should get a convertible!" you suddenly think this sounds like a GREAT idea. Surely the wind will drown out the noise?

...you find yourself wondering if your health insurance covers hip replacements, because you're going to need one after the endless games of "stacks on." (eg let's all jump on Mum until she begs for mercy, and then let's keep jumping!

...you start thinking that military school is not such a bad idea.

...you start to think of the entire world in threes, and wonder why other people don't think so, too. Why are family tickets always 2 adults + 2 kids? Why do snack packs of crackers always come in a bag of 10?

...you keep hearing ads on the radio for a health retreat, and you find yourself thinking you can tolerate Feiki in exchange for how quiet it must be up there.

Any more? Feel free to add them in the comments.


Laura said...

How about the talent of carrying on a conversation through the many lengthy innteruptions of the children, but you are able to keep bringing it right back on track through them all.

emzeegee & the hungry three said...

LOL Laura - that's a good one! Whatever inborn multi-tasking skills I had before improved immeasurably once I had the triplets for that exact reason! :)

- Michelle