I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Monday, November 20, 2006

ETA: 30 Minutes

If you're running on emzee time, then you know that it takes exactly half an hour to get anywhere or do anything. It takes half an hour to bake a cake, cook dinner, bathe the kids, get dressed, have a shower, put on make-up (yes, I do that sometimes) and in general there is nothing which cannot be achieved in half an hour. This magical mystical half hour can then be used in a number of ways, as an excuse for things not getting done. "I didn't think it would take longer than a half hour." "I left 5 minutes late, so I had less than a half hour to get there" "I can do it in half an hour. Why can't you?" and so on and so forth. It's also good to make you seem superior, "Of course I'm early! I left a half hour ago!" "I allowed 30 minutes but it only took about 10." (and so on.) It's a very useful time frame, the ol' half hour. I even use it as a way of deceiving myself when I know I am late for something, but I'm trying to convince myself that I won't be. "Hmmm," I think as I look at the dashboard clock (which shows 6:43 and I need to be there at 6:45 and I'm several kilometers away), "I'll make it. It's hasn't been a FULL half hour yet!"

It's a very flexible half hour.

The half hour can be FULL: precisely 30 minutes, but not including the minute that I left the house in, because when I looked at the clock I can't say for sure if the minute started just then or if 40-odd seconds had gone by or not. Plus it needs to include the minute after I get there, for the same reason.

The half hour can be SHORT: must have been less than 30 minutes because otherwise I SOOOOO would have been there on time.

The half hour, best of all, starts when *I* want it to. Yup, it'll only take me a half hour to get there...but the half hour starts AFTER I've had a shower, gotten dressed, sang a few bits of songs off-key, read just ONE more chapter, wandered around the house in my undies, called a friend and had a snack.

I love living on emzee time, and it's high time others understood it. You want to see me? Gimme a half hour...

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