I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Coffee (still) sucks

For the past few weeks at culinary school I've been getting lessons in how to be a 'barista' - or how to 'pull' and create the perfect espresso, latte, etc etc. Coffee, to me, is such a disappointment. It smells heavenly, but tastes like burnt sweat socks. It looks gorgeous - all smooth, thick white crema and lovely patterns and warm cup - but tastes like burnt sweat socks. It's very grown-up - beautiful people drink it, 30 something career people live for it, and you just look supremely cool holding one. It still tastes like burnt sweat socks. There are two reasons why I drink it, about twice a year: 1) to stave off a migrane, and 2) to look like the aforementioned grown up and cool people. In college my friend Cameron said true coffee drinkers progress: from loads of sugar/milk, to less sugar and some milk, to no sugar and some milk, to no sugar and no milk...to a shot of espresso (or two, or twelve). Friends, let me admit this right now. I have not left the lots of sugar and lots of milk stage! In fact, I probably am in the pre-stage where I ruin the whole thing by prefering sweet n' low to actual sugar, which to my sugar-overloaded palate is not sweet enough to fix the sweat sock flavour thing. Caffeine has no impact on me whatsoever. Every few months I'll order a coffee at work (made with fancy roasted beans, by professional baristas, with real milk etc etc -coffee the way it's meant to be). I breathe in the heady aroma, I admire the gorgeously smooth crema...I take my first, tentative sip....and I realise it still tastes like burnt sweat socks.

2 comments:

wendyg said...

My mum always told me that I would like coffee when I "grew up" - I'm 35 now and still hate cofee - I guess I'm never going to be a grown up. I'll be a female Peter Pan and drink tea, hot chocolate and other drinks that don't taste like burnt sweat socks!!!! Viva la difference!!!

louisa said...

I hate coffee, can't stand it - even if you load it with alcohol i can't drink it.
However, I LOVE chocolate covered coffee beans....is that odd?