A Personal Invitation

"Do you need a personal invitation?" was an ongoing joke in my childhood home. So if one of us yelled, "Dinner!" at the top of our lungs, and someone or other didn't show up within a few seconds, the next shout was, "What? Do you need a personal inviation?" This actually extended to a lot of things - when I complain that my Mom/Sister/Niece doesn't call me (enough), I might say, "You know, you could call me once in a while. You don't need to wait for a personal inviation!" (and so on and so forth. Let it not be said that my family does not beat a joke to death almost literally. Personal invitations for the funeral of the death of this joke not required, as we are still beating it.)

I came to yet another revelation this week, which is this: YES, actually, I *DO* need a personal invitation. I really, really hate when people say "drop in whenever you like" or "you should come by and see me" or "we should get together" or "my door is open, just pop round, no need to call first." Yes, they most likely really mean it when they invite me/my brood to pop over any time. I am sure the inviation is extended with the utmost of sincerity. But you know what? I'm never going to darken your door, unless I have a personal invitation. Sure, feel free to say "we should catch up some time" as I leave your home. Then I want you to call me (or me to call you) and we actually organise a time to meet again. As in, a DAY, a TIME, a PLACE. A *plan*. I just don't do randome drop-ins - I didn't do it pre-kids and I certainly am not going to start now.

Open-ended invitations, really, are just a way of ensuring you have unexpected guests the very second you and your DH are dancing the Mattress Mambo (not that we would do that). Or you're wandering around butt naked, drinking a mug of tea, and about to settle in with a good book (not that I would do that.) Or your house look like a bomb not only went off right in the middle of the living room, but that it was a bomb attached to several full laundry machines, 3,471 markers and an enormous toy box (not that ours ever looks like that.) Or it's the one night when you've cooked food which is barely edible to your family, but they have to eat it because it's a choice between cauliflower surprise and, say, starvation (not that I would ever do that.) See what I mean? Open invitations, well, suck. So as a result, I never ever take anyone up on those kind of invitations. Strangely, though...I often extend that kind of invitation. And I mean it. And I like it (mostly) when people come over when I'm not expecting them too (except in the above situations, which of course never happen anyway.)

But when YOU want ME to come over? Best to issue a personal invitation.