An Open Letter to Lady Gaga

Dear Lady Gaga,

Love your work. Truly. You're original and fun and not the same pop princess stuff we had all resigned ourselves to throughout the Britney and Xtina years. So thanks for being truly original in a copy-cat musical world.

However.

Earlier today I read somewhere online (and yes, I know one should not trust online sources, but it makes a good segue to this blog post, so bear with me) that you just spent $1.2 million dollars recently on ONE outfit.

Let's think about that for a minute. Growing up, did you ever have one of those times when you heard that the state lottery was worth 10 million, and you thought to yourself, "Sheesh! 10 million! What would I do with ten million dollars?!" Then you sat and planned - you know, one million for a house for Mum and Dad, one million for new cars for everyone I know, and so on and so forth...and in your head you spent all that money? I'm guessing that nowhere in those dreams were, "..and I'm going to spend over a million dollars on a shiny metallic gravity defying outfit," were there? (Or maybe there were, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.)

I guess dreams change. Me, I used to dream about holidaying with my kids and paying off my house and paying for my nieces and nephew to come and visit me. These days, I just dream about being able to afford groceries and pay my mortgage when it comes due fortnightly. Since my DH lost his job, I just dream about spending time dreaming instead of spending time worrying and stressing out. Like I said, dreams change. Today I found myself thinking about that old, "What if I win the lottery?" fantasy. I used to desperately want to win something big, like the old 10 million we mentioned earlier. Today I found myself thinking, "You know, I'd be just happy with HALF a million." Half a million dollars - or about equal to one shoulder of your smokin' hot new outfit - would pay off my mortgage, AND pay off all my debt, AND give us enough money to live on for about 2 years assuming DH does not find anything new (which he WILL. Because we are all about positive thinking over here.)

Half a million. That's all I need. I'm willing to forget all about the lottery win just for that amount of money - which to me feels like a humongous amount, but to you, not so much. It's barely 5% of what you earn each concert (reportedly 10 million.) Why spend it on yet another outfit when you can come to my house and do some real good in the world? As an exchange, I'll even let you borrow some of my kids too-small dress up outfits - heck, you can keep them! That way you're helping someone in need, AND you're totally going to look fashion forward. Apparently ripped and completely falling apart pink fairy wings are the new black, didn't you hear?

So, Lady Gaga, your talent is totally fabulous and I think you're just the bee's knees (even if I totally did not get that 'Telephone' video with Beyonce)...but right now, won't you please forgo just one shoulder of one more sparkly alien-looking outfit and help a girl out? Let me know, okay? If I don't hear from you soon, I'll call you on the telephone.

Sincerely,

A fan in need of one sparkly alien shoulder