Socially Awkward

I'm socially awkward.

Really.

To meet me in real life, you wouldn't think so. Fact is, I'm shy. I'm also nervous around new people, mostly because I think I'll say the wrong thing (and then I DO say the wrong thing, and I'm mortally wounded and will replay it over in my head a lot of times over the following days.) Being my height, and with my volume, people made a lot of wrong assumptions about me (see earlier blog about this.) With all that in mind, you can just imagine how worry-inducing it is to have to make friends with the Mums at my kids' new school.

The kids ex-art teacher is also a parent of a child at the kids' new school. (I'll give you a minute to work that relationship out. Okay, we good?) Last week she very nicely offered to invite a bunch of parents to a local park so that my kids could get to know some of their new classmates, and I could get to meet their Mums.

Cue panic.

Wednesday was that meeting ... which unfortunately I did not miss (even though I tried, with 2 flat tyres *and* loads of work to do). And you know what? I was socially awkward. I was shy. I said the wrong things (and I nearly choked on my own spit when one mother asked, "So? Do you do any work?"). The good news is, I survived and may have even made a new friend (just one. Which for me is wwwaaayyyy more than I expected to.) Driving home, I was feeling pretty pleased with my self...but still feeling very much that I was way the heck out of my comfort zone, that all this "make new friends" business was going to be harder than it should be, and that I'm not entirely sure how to answer comments like, "Oh, you make cake," without being all sarcastic and rude.

And then it occurred to me.

1. There is no legal obligation for me to be friends with any of these women, and

2. If I'm all the above-mentioned things, they're going to have to like me anyway. Because frankly, I'm not about to start changing now. They'll have to just love me for me, and if not, well... I can deal with that.

I'll just go sit myself down in a dark corner right now, shall I?