A couple of months ago (in fact almost exactly two months ago to the day) I wrote a post about the fact that I was/am facing down three big bullies. In the months since then, I've written about choosing my word of the year, about being blessed with cousin-sister-friends and a whole lot of other fairly positive posts (although to be fair I also had my share of bitchy, caustic, and entirely 'go to hell' posts as well.) Overall, 2011 is shaping up to be one hell of an ass-kicking sort of year, and I'm pleased to say that two of the bullies have, shall we say, fallen on their own swords. The third is a work in progress, but I suspect that she, too will meet with an uncomfortable end, the poor dear.
In the bully post, I wrote,
"The sad thing is, I'm still persisting in believing that ALL of these bullies will do the right thing, that all of them will see the error of their ways and all of them will realise that I am not going to be pushed around all that easily. It might be true that the outside of me is made of sugar, and the first few layers (okay, many layers) are decidedly marshmallow-esque, but at the very heart of it is one hell of a bitch who does NOT like being told what to do."
Strange how that paragraph actually ended up being almost prophetical but at the same time totally and utterly wrong. NONE of my bullies ended up doing "the right thing," none have seen the error of their ways. Two out of three required someone else to point out to them in quite uncertain terms that they were being foolish in continuing to bully me. The bit which did come true was that I wasn't going to be pushed around, AND that the bitch heart inside of me beats stronger with every passing day.
So -
The landlord of the new property? I gave up negotiating back at Christmas time, only to get a phone call a few weeks ago with a new offer that gave me MORE than any of my prior requests asked for.
The landlord of the existing property? Tried to bully me even harder (in the form of abusive emails), but then learned they had no case to speak of, and today offered me almost exactly what I've been asking for all along. In fact it's what I asked for back in November, and the idiots could have saved them (and me) a lot of heartache and legal fees if they had agreed back then. Some people clearly need to spend money for no reason and be horrible for a bit before they come to the party.
The principal of the former school? She's also trying to bully us harder (in the form of a threatening letter). It's a reasonable attempt, but what she doesn't know is that a bullet train of evidence that she did not do her job properly is about to land on the desk of every single member of the school council. I'm not bullying her back, I'm letting her know I won't stand down just because she sends a nasty letter (or gets her lackey to send a letter.) What part of you fucked up does she not understand? (I'm guessing it's the 'you' part, as she is no good at accepting responsibility.)
I'd love to end this post by talking about all the lessons I've learned, about how I stood my ground with honour and valour, about how in the end the good guy always wins, and so on and so forth. Blah blah positive lessons, blah blah you shall prevail, blah blah blah. It's all total bullshit. I've spent the last 2 months feeling like I am going to jump out of my skin, crying one hell of a lot, and getting prickly, shitty and irritated with anyone who dare cross my path and even some who don't. More than that I've been scared, have wanted to back down a lot, nearly caved in the bullies several times, yelled at my poor tolerant DH a few times, ate my emotions far too many times, and in general have been a wreck and a half.
It hasn't been pretty.
But I DID prevail and will hopefully continue to.
So the lesson here is actually quite simple.... it's just to hang in there, because eventually, things happen. Not always the things you WANTED to have happen, but things happen. And then you deal with those things. And then you cry and eat. And then you... wait...and things happen...and again you need to either celebrate or just cope or just cry. Either way, nothing stays the same for very long - it's just coming to accept that things happen (and therefore change) is a lot easier said than done, but that acceptance is the key to just about everything.
....except possibly the new car I want but can't afford. This, too, shall happen eventually. I'll just have to take my own advice and wait a bit. And maybe cry and eat a bit. Hey, I can't always be the perfect one here.
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