The Key That Radiates Potential

Today I got the key to my new shopfront.

Let's just digest that for a second, shall we?

I got the KEY OF POTENTIAL. In my hand. It belongs to ME.

I picked up the key from the estate agent's office, and did what every other self-respecting, hard working, entrepreneurial female would do on such a momentous occasion: I broke into enormous, heaving, hysterical, slightly insane sounding sobs and cried pretty much the entire way to the key shop to get copies made.

These were not sad tears - they were happy ones - but with that happiness came an entire raft of emotions. Sadness because my Dad would never step foot (at least not literally) through the door of my little empire. Excitement about all the adventures which await me. Fear about the ridiculous amount of money this little venture is costing. Relief at the decision having been finally made officially official. Pressure about the need to now be as successful as I've been talking about being. Hysteria about the realisation that this is ACTUALLY happening. To me. For real. Pride - in myself and in my conviction that I can make this work. It was an entire A to Z of emotions, right there in my tiny little car.

Honestly, it was like they handed me that key and POP! went the little cork inside the valve of pressure which has been building up inside of me for the past several months. Hiiissssssss went all the emotionally charged air as it burst through that little hole, and OH DEAR GOD went the me who was sitting in that car, attempting to drive while fogging up my sunglasses with buckets of tears.

Yes, it's idiotic to drive and cry. Who says I was behaving rationally? So I had a moment. Forgive me. This progress has been a very long time coming.

I have to say that one of the BIGGEST emotions I felt was just plain old relief. I'm relieved that I STILL feel as though I can succeed or I can fail, but either way I will have done something which is totally and utterly GRAND on so many levels. I thought I'd get the key and just feel the crushing weight of the need to NOT fail, and instead all I felt was (along with all those other things) one big fat wave of hope.

I plan on riding that wave for a while, even though I don't look so hot in bathers.

On the way back from picking up the kids this afternoon, I took them on a field trip to the new shop. I wanted to see if the Key of Potential worked, and wanted to show off to my kiddos as they've not been inside yet. It didn't start well - "Mum, I think we've got to get rid of the graffiti. And the cobwebs." (They're right, we do.)

But then my trio burst through that door and took their time exploring the big fat empty gaping hole which is my future kitchen and showroom. They insisted on seeing every corner (of which there are only a few.) I had the wrestle with the back door (note to self: fix that, too) so they could see what was in the backyard. DS insisted that I 'walk out' where everything was for him. "So your office will be where? And where are you going to put the giant fridge?" DD1 was more interested in the design details, "Will there be a sign out the front? A big one? With the Three Sweeties name on it?" and DD2, (she of the thimble-sized bladder) just wanted to try out the toilet and declare it usable (note to self: buy some TP.)

It was a glorious, glorious moment for me and for them.

It's still terrifying and exciting and a bit bittersweet and blah blah blah...but you know what?

I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

And that, my friends, makes all the tears totally worth it.