I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I'm In The Wrong Business

Last night I sat through a two and a half hour seminar all about building your business. Actually, in truth, I can't really tell you what the official topic is because I have no idea. I signed up for it several weeks ago and totally forgot about it. Unhelpfully, in my diary I wrote "Biz Thingie, 6:45pm"...and for the record it started at 6:30, but whatever. Having sat through it, I still don't really know what it was all about - at a guess I'd say it was about what constitutes being a business owner, what things business owners should be focussing on to achieve success, and how to bring more customers to your business. Oh, and it was also about trying to sell me an expensive coaching program and an online marketing program.

Or at least ...I think that's what the guy said. I was kinda distracted by the the light of the projector shining in my eyes, and the man next to me who managed to get through (seriously!) four cups of tea and about a dozen cookies all in that one sitting. Where the heck does he put it?!
So I listened in mostly rapt attention and also took a lot of colourful notes with my fabulous four colour clicky pen (sidenote: I freakin' love those things!) On the table was a sheet of paper inviting us all to another seminar the next night. Being dazzled by the projector light and the cookie munching (that's my excuse, anyway), I filled in the form and thus set myself up for another hour of seminar sitting tonight.

(I got the time wrong again. I thought it was 6 but it was 6:30. I'm losing it, I really am.)

Tonight's one was all about guerilla marketing - which did you know is actually trademarked? As in, "We're not going to tell you to jump out of bushes to capture clients," but Capital G Capital M, "Here is our ultra-expensive marketing program which you can have for a BARGAIN because I've sucked you all into this room tonight!"

Truth be told I think I might have actually learned a few things from these two events. What I've learned (among other things) is that I was damn clever to agree to hire a business coach earlier this year (even though the cost made me take a sharp inwards breath at first). I'm actually slowly morphing into a business owner and not just a kick-ass cake maker, and my whole mindset is slowly shifting. Let's face it, a mere 3-4 months ago I never would have entertained the idea of going to one of these things, let alone 3 in the same week (there was a networking thingie on Monday too). Oh, don't worry - I might be the high-falutin', check-this-baby-out business owner in the next year or so...but there will be plenty of tears and carry on, and plenty of freak outs and tantrums along the way (after all, it makes good blogging).

So - as I said before I rudely interrupted myself - I think I actually walked away having learned a lot of lessons.

Biggest lesson of all? The money in this world is in telling people what to do and how to do it. The richest people of all are actually the teachers. Think about it. Personal trainers don't get rich - people who go on to make work out videos and books do. Chefs don't get rich - chefs who teach classes and write books and go on TV to teach others how to cook do. Authors don't get rich - until they go on the book tour and teach the lessons in their books to giant audiences. Burger flippers don't get rich - the ones who wrote the system on 'how to flip burgers' get rich. Teaching - the sharing, giving, taking and receiving of information - is how to make it big in this world. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is MONEY.

...and so when I grow up, and sell this cake business for something like a majillion kajillion dollars (because now that I have all the marketing, business, and growth secrets in the whole world thanks to my seminar attendance, that's what it will be worth), I'm going to go out and become a business seminar lady. And make a majillion kajillion dollars all over again - by telling people what to do and how to do it. Because THAT'S the right business to be in.

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