I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Pump Up The Volume

I am loud.

Very loud.

My normal speaking voice is loud, my talking-on-the-phone voice is even louder, and in general the words "quiet" and "me" are never found in the same sentence. Part of this I blame on my Israeli heritage, where everyone shouts and needs to speak ever louder in order to be heard about the din of 10 other people also trying to be heard. Part of this I blame on my height, because I need to shout so those shorter than I am can hear me from way up here. One more part of this I blame on the fact that it's just, well, very ME-like to be loud - who ever heard of a big, jewish, 6 foot tall, intelligent-bordering-on-perfection woman being quiet? Poor DH has suffered the effects of my volume on many an occasion, saying, "No need to shout, emzee, I'm ---->right here<----!!" (A comment which annoys the shit out of me.) Of course I blame his hearing loss on his advanced age, but let's be kind for now and blame it on my volume. I don't have an internal volume sensor, which means that even when I think I'm being quiet, I'm still being loud. Sometimes this is useful (crowded rooms) and sometimes this is very NOT useful (stupid comment made in crowded rooms). However I have discovered that while I never go down to quiet mode, I do go from loud, to louder, to freakin' deafening. Whispering? *snort* Yeah, right. As I said earlier, I'm not always aware of just how loud I am - until either someone comments on it, or I just kinda suddenly realise that I am shouting. This afternoon I was chatting (yelling quietly) on the phone to my Dad. I didn't realise how loud I was being until I hung up and suddenly was enveloped by silence. There was practically an echo. So clearly, with my Dad, my volume level is on Very Loud. I also have a special mode - VeryLoudAndVeryFast, which I reserve for when I am super mega excited about something (YYEEEEAAAHHH My cakes rock!) or super mega annoyed about something (Damn that woman's kid is ANNOYING) or in general feeling like nobody is listening to me (Are you listening? Are you? Because I'm talking and I'm thinking nobody is listening. Do I need to repeat myself?)

So you get the idea. I'm never quiet. I talk incessantly, and I talk loudly. No wonder some people find me so annoying. (They, of course, have yet to realise that talking a lot, loudly is The New Black.) Recently I have come to realise that DD2 has inherited the internal Loud button. Lord, but that child is LOUD. And she doesn't SHUT UP ... and I find myself saying things like, "Sweetheart, I can HEAR you. I'm --->right here<---! There is no need to shout!"

...and I'm sure my nearly deaf DH is thinking, "Payback is a bitch."

In honour of my volume, can I get some of you to shout back at me? According to my site meter thingie-whatsit (there, on the bottom right corner), I've got readers from the US, Australia, Malaysia, France, Taiwan, Israel, Brazil, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Japan, Iran, Unknown Country (!) and Canada. Now given that I can identify some readers from Japan, the US, and Australia: who the heck are the rest of you? Shout back - press the comment button below and introduce yourself. (But then cover your ears as I reply.)


The Grubbs said...

Hello- Laura in Las Vegas, NV (USA)here. Found you through the Amazing Trips.

emzeegee & the hungry three said...

Hi Laura,

Thanks for shouting out a hello! :) (and thanks to Jenna at A.T. for sending you my way!) :)


Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle

I also found you from Amazing trips. A Very loud hello from Brisbane. I love your blog !

emzeegee & the hungry three said...

Thanks Jenny - have you guys moved yet?! Wasn't that on the cards?


Anonymous said...

"Her voice was ever soft and gentle.
An ezcellent thing in woman." Will S.