The Untold Benefit of Parenting

I am very fortunate to work for a company that provides lunch for its employees every day. Come noon, all of us sit down to a gorgeous, chef-made, calorie-laden, bloody yummy lunch. Some choose to go outside, alternating between a lungful of smoke and a mouthful of risotto. Others choose to eat inside the kitchen, inhale lunch within 2 bites, and then disappear to god-knows-where. Then there are the nerds, of which I am a proud member. We choose to sit at the (indoor, very swish) communal table and benches, eating among work friends, sharing a laugh, and not enjoying the benefits of second-hand smoke. In recent months we've begun a bit of a lunchtime tradition - the trivia challenge. Both The Age and The Herald Sun have trivia quizzes in them every day, so we use these as the basis. As time has gone on, and the competition has become more fierce, the experience has gotten more entertaining and frustrating in equal measures. I've realised how little useless, random knowledge I posses, and how much I care about that lack of knowledge. The previous days' winner becomes the "Quiz Master" for the day, and as such has the power to invoke (or revoke) as many rules as they like. So on some days, you have to wait for the entire question to be read. On others, jump in at will but suffer the embarrassment of lost points if your answer is wrong. Either way it's an entertaining way to spend a quarter-hour or so. My own place in this bloodbath of trivia and pointless information ass-kicking is as a shouter. I tend to either say nothing, or just guess repeatedly in a really loud voice. Some days, I am without a run on the board - other days, I come in a respectable 3rd or 4th. Either way my competitive self wants to win, right?

Last week, I had my chance. The questions are worth different points based on difficulty - 1 for an easy one, 2 for a medium hard, and 3 for a hard question. I wasn't faring particularly well that day (thanks to the if-it's-wrong-you-lose-points rule) - and then came the following 3 point question:

"What is the name of the purple Teletubby?"

A hush fell over the room as everyone looked at one another with a mixture of vague amusement and total clueless-ness. At this point, the Quiz Master looked at me and said, "emzee? Surely you gotta know this!" (Okay, he used my real name, but otherwise this is an accurate account.)

I did. It's Tinky-Winky. I had my moment of glory, my basking in the sunshine of my clever-ness, my this-is-why-I-had-kids moment, my overall brilliance, and in that few glorious seconds, there was nobody in the world but me. The spotlight of smarty-pants shone right on top of my MENSA head, as I basked in complete self-promotion. Yes, it's true, I rock.

Sadly, it was to be a fleeting fame. I then proceeded to scream my way through the next few and ended up with a score of -2 for the day.

Ahhh, well. Win some, lose some, commit trivial suicide in some.