Know Your Victim

This morning I opened my hotmail account to find something like 50 messages in my inbox. Considering I checked it last about, oh, 10 hours ago, that's a heck of a lot of emails to get in such a short period of time! Turns out some asshole hacker/spam maven got into my account and sent a message to my entire address book.

In addition to a whole bunch of "unable to deliver" postmaster messages were about a dozen messages from well meaning family and friends asking me if I knew my account was sending out spam. I've had that account for about 12 years, and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Funnily enough, Mr Moron Hacker Man sent ME a copy of my OWN spam. Gotta love it. So I opened it to see what it was all about, and at this point nearly fell on the floor from laughter.

What's so funny about spam, you ask?

Seems "I" sent out a spam to my friends telling them to go shopping for electronics at some random web based electronics store. Those who know me in real life know the following to be true:

1) Shopping goes against all I believe in, I'm sure it's against my religion, I avoid it at all costs, shopping sucks and DOWN with shopping I say. Web based or not, shopping and I are not the best of friends.

2) Electronics are not exactly my forte, which is probably why every device in my house is flashing 00:00 all the time, and every time the power goes out I'm shouting, "DH! Come fix all these freakin' clocks!" I can barely change the batteries in a remote control, people, let alone go shopping for electronic devices.

3) The email was titled "hello,friend," and I am nothing if not a grammar and punctuation Nazi, so if it WAS me I'd be mortally humiliated by that complete lack of capitalisation and incorrect use of commas.

4) The body of the email was all spaced incorrectly, in random bouts of italic and bold, and altogether messy as hell. Ahem. Yes. Jewel claims that all my emails (personal and otherwise) sound as though they came from some fancy shmancy business somewhere, and look like it too. Plus I am one seriously lazy bitch. So this one is clearly not sent by me because I can't be bothered with italics and bold and when it comes to email, I don't do messy.

Let this be a lesson to you all. If you are going to engage in hacker-esque activities, I suggest you learn more about your intended victim before you go sending out emails all willy-nilly. Either that or learn to spell the word "electronics."