Smarty Pants

Since the beginning of the year, my most fabulous and precious of sons (okay, my only son and therefore most fabulous and precious) has been something of a pain in the ass at school. Remember we talked about the whole fruit throwing incident? Since then the teachers have instituted what they call a "communication book" but really it's subtitle is, "A list of bad shit your kid has done lately." This was supposed to be a book which I got every day, which listed all the things which had happened that day - good OR bad. Instead it appeared about once a week, with really helpful commentary like, "J was whistling in class today and would not stop when asked."

Really? I don't give a shit, other than I'm kinda proud he has learned to whistle.

The official straw was last week when his PE teacher wrote, "J's behaviour was OBNOXIOUS today! He did not line up on time and... blah di freakin' blah." Obnoxious? Really? Here's the thing. I know my kid can be a major pain... but I don't really think it's in his best interest to be using language like that. Plus, newsflash, he can READ so now he knows that his PE teacher thinks he is obnoxious. Fabulous. WAY TO GO for solving the problem, and WAY TO GO for telling a 7 year old what you really think of him, only in a suitably passive aggressive way.

Needless to say I took a deep breath, calmed down, and then ripped the school a new one via e-mail.

Heh. I don't do subtle.

I have to say, his teacher really took my, ahem, freak out really well. She got right on it and called a meeting with the head of curriculum and the head of the wellness centre and so on and so forth. They really took some notice of my email (which, in my defense, was nice and not at all accusatory for once). End result is, nobody is really sure why DS has been such a pain, and nobody really knows if he is even being challenged at school. DS is precocious to say the least - by no means a genius but certainly ahead of his peers. He's been in the accelerated learning program since he was in kindergarten/prep (I know, honours kindergarten, right? I feel ridiculous even typing that.) While he enjoys it, I'm not entirely convinced it's doing much for him from an academic point of view.

DS himself claims that a lot of his acting out is just because, plain and simple, he's bored and being naughty gives him something to do. I'm not entirely sure of that excuse, though ... because being smart isn't really a good enough reason to act like a shmuck, is it?

So long story short, the school have asked that DH and I have our kiddo academically tested (read: IQ test for kids) and behaviourally assessed (read: psycho head shrinking for kids). The theory is that once we know the kind of person he is (type of learner, areas of strength etc) then we can all work together to find a way to keep this kid from turning into some sort of Dogbert type. In theory I actually think this is the right way to go - because, hell, for all that money I'm paying private school, I think they should be teaching him at his level of ability - whatever that level might be. I also think it's difficult to solve a problem when nobody is really sure what the problem IS, so everyone is hoping that this testing will give us some insight into what makes his brain tick.

Problem? This shebang costs $500.

Seriously. $500! For them to tell me my kid is smart.

I'm thinking I'm taking it out of his first paycheck (which at this rate he'll get when he turns 9). (Because he IS smart, making all these adults run around when really all he's doing is being a pain in the arse....and getting away with it.)