I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Worst Marketing Ever

A couple of nights ago I sent DH to the supermarket. Before all you men's libbers out there get annoyed at me, the reality of it is that DH *loves* going to the supermarket and I've trained him to be pretty good at it. Plus he's a night owl, so he quite enjoys wandering in empty supermarkets with nobody for company but the shelf stackers - while I stay at home in my warm bed with my cup of tea and books. You tell me who is getting the better deal here!

Here at Casa Verde we meal plan three weeks in advance - mostly because it makes my life easier, but also because we can plan our shopping a lot better. It has actually dramatically reduced our food bills, dramatically reduced my need for my 6pm Prozac, and improved the quality of our dinners enormously. I realised, though, that I had forgotten to defrost any meat for the next night's meal - so I asked DH to pick up some sort of meat which was on special and I'd use that as the protein for the meal.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the fridge later and saw these:

Yes, that says "KANGA BANGAS." Now I know that English/Australian slang for sausages is "bangers" as in the ubiquitous "bangers and mash"... but seriously? Kanga Bangas? Am I the only person out there who looks at this and immediately imagines porn sites with people having sex with kangaroos? Someone needs to fire that marketing guy. Quite possibly the WORST product name ever. [Sidenote: It says on the packet, "For best results, soak in vegetable oil for 10 minutes before cooking." Excuse me while I *hurl* into the packet directly.]

My life being what it is (entirely crazy), I took a closer look at these... bangas... and thought, "Geez, they even kinda LOOK like kangaroos willies!" Note, I've never seen a kangaroo's penis up close... so these are what I imagine a kangaroo penis looks like:

As it happens, DH did not disagree with me on this...although he may or may not have seen one up close. He is a true blue Aussie after all, and who KNOWS what those kids see in their childhood. He and I sat down and tried to come up with a worse name for this product. Yes, worse than Kanga Bangas.

I'm both pleased and ashamed to report that my product name forced DH to laugh so hard he snorted.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen... I'm talking about a tray of honest-to-god, 100% Australian, get them while they're hot...SKIPPY SCROTES.

After that, there was not a chance in hell I was either eating those or feeding them to my kids. So I did what any self respecting person did and I fed those things to the dog.. who promptly spat them out. I guess he doesn't like kangaroo penises, either.


cupcaketastic said...

Ha they ARE gross, they taste like sawdust. Kanga Bangers - comeon you have to laugh

Matthew (It sucks you live in Australia) said...

That definately made me smile! :-D

Robyn said...

I'm with you on this one, Daisy-May loooooooves reading factual books and sharing it with me too! And I just go 'yeh, yeh' continuously so she thinks I'm listening. It's so nice though that they're interested in all that stuff!

remzzo said...

Kanga Bangers with koala in the middle xD