I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


SOS = Save Our Safta

It is amazing what lengths people will go to in pursuit of a goal. In my case I had no specific plan for achieving this goal, and then fate/god/someone with a sense of humour stepped in and tried to help me achieve the goal. I am, of course, talking about making my Mom stay with us in Australia. We had a really fabulous time together, so by the end of her trip none of us were all that keen on her going home. I came home from work on Sunday, tired and cranky and hungry. The kids and Mom had plans to head to the big ferris wheel in the city, and frankly I wasn't all that interested. DH had to work, so I asked for "just five minutes peace and quiet" before getting up and moseying into town.

In those five minutes my Mom decided to pop into the toilet, get her shoes on, and get ready to go. Within a minute I hear, "Michelley? Can you come and...? The door is stuck!" Yes. Apparently my Mom went to pee and the toilet door jammed shut. Being a lazy ass (and wanting my five minutes) I sent DS up. "Mum... really...the door is stuck!" Since I didn't get any less lazy, I send DH up to assess. "Michelle...ummm... the door is seriously jammed."

*sigh* No five minutes for me, then. I haul my lazy butt upstairs to find my son and husband desperately banging and pushing the door which will not budge. I did what any self respecting person would do and I started to laugh...and laugh...and laugh...and laugh. Hysterical, great big gulping laughs. I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe - literally I was gasping for air. So what's a girl to do? Well, I did the only thing I could: I called my sister in LA to tell her about it. At first she thought I was crying because literally I couldn't even get the words out. "Mom! *gasp* Is stuck! *gasp**hysterical laugher*!! In! The! Toi - in the toi - in the *gasp* *choke* toilet!!"


Stuck in the toilet. My poor Mom was literally trapped in there. Thus began the litany of flat food she could live off of if she was in there much longer - wheat thins, very flat omelettes, slices of American cheese and so on and so forth. We tried to get the handle off but could not as the screws were on her side of the door, and there was no way to get a screwdriver through to her. The hinges were on her side, too.

Eventually my DH and DS climbed a ladder, put my DS on the roof and told him to scramble to the bathroom window. He gave my Mom a screwdriver through the window and she dutifully unscrewed the handle. It fell off, leaving a little hole...and a door which would not budge a milimeter.

Up on the rof went DH and DS, and DS gave my Mom a hacksaw. She then proceeded to try and hacksaw her way through the steel bolt. After many minutes of her hacking (and yes, I was still laughing) we realised that option was going to take forever and so we did the only thing we could - we called the fire department.

Here you can see how much of the bolt she managed to hacksaw through. Go Mom!

Less than 10 minutes later we had a giant fire truck in our street and 3 burly (and hot, of course) fireman clambering up the stairs to rescue my Mom. I think they thought they would find a hysterical woman...which they did! Hysterically laughing, that is! So their first effort was to try and unbolt the latch - which by the way is NOT a lock, just a normal door latch which had failed and gotten stuck in the closed position.

With no luck on that option they decided brute force was the way to go. Of course, this being Australia, they then spent 5 minutes apologising about the state of the door, "Sorry 'bout the door, mate!"

I have no idea why this video is sideways... turn your head and enjoy watching my Mom get busted out of her toilet prison. The kids were most interested to know if, once the door got opened, they would find my Mom as a skeleton sitting on the toilet. Happily enough she was definitely of sound body (although not so much of sound mind from all that laughing). While the firemen did their paperwork they kindly let the kids enjoy the whole experience:

So unfortunately our plans to keep my Mom in Australia didn't work...but a good time was certainly had by all! Thanks Melbourne Fire Brigade!


M.B. said...

I have missed your postings and was going to contact you today to find out what is up.

This was TOTALLY worth the wait.

Claire - Matching Pegs said...

Why do these type of comical things always happen to you and yours Emm?


emzeegee & the hungry three said...

Haha you two... I have NO idea why my life is one long, mad, crazy episode. The good news is that I manage mostly to laugh my way through it. The bad news is that I have a habit of laughing at the most inappropriate times. :)

sacha said...

Lucky all that happened actually, since the last I heard about the ferris wheel was that they were going to dismantle the whole thing and rebuild it from scratch. It's closed, isn't it? MFB at home entertainment option much better. For everyone.

emzeegee & the hungry three said...


The Southern Star Wheel is indeed closed for repairs (after costing 6m to build in the first place.) We were heading for the Sky Wheel at Birrarung Marr.. and we made it there and had a fabulous time. :)