Recently I was talking to someone about my life... a someone who does not know me personally, does not know the extent of my craziness (mothers in toilets and whatnot), and basically who knows very little about the day-to-day running of my life.
"So," says this someone, "You have triplets. A job. A business." "Yes," says I, "I do." Then that someone looked at me and said, "So without even knowing you, I know your life must be chaos. Meals eaten on the run, mutli-tasking, never feeling like you have enough hours in the day. Chaos, right?"
I mulled over this for a moment... because, really, I DON'T think my life is chaotic. Busy, yes. Sometimes a little over-full, yes. Full of adventures? Definitely yes. But I don't really think of my life as being chaos, unless we're talking CONTROLLED chaos, in which case maybe I qualify for that title. This conversation made me think about OTHER people's lives. Sure, the whole triplet thing means I've got a bit more happening than other people might, but other than that? I just lead a normal life...or at least I think it's normal.
Take, for example, The Baker's Wife. She's got two *little* kids, a business, a noctural husband. The Neighbour's Wife has three little kids, a full time job, a dog and is active at the kids' school, Poppet's Mum has 2 kids and is the sole breadwinner.... and so on and so forth. ALL the women I know are juggling multiple balls up in the air at the same time as mine... but then I never hear anyone describe their lives as chaotic. So is it really "the triplet factor" which ups the ante on my life? Is it just that I spin a good yarn and so my life, to the untrained ear, sounds crazier than most? Or, is it that other people cannot fathom life with triplets and so they make assumptions about my life and what it must be like?
Any other triplet parents - or parents who know my life, or parents who read about my life on this blog- care to weigh in on this? Is my life chaos, or is chaos just the new normal?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Chaos, Revisited
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4 comments:
Em, I think your life sounds fairly organised - especially your meals!
Beyond the early days, I think triplets are probably no more chaotic than 3 siblings born separately. In fact they may be a little less so at times, because they are the same age - it is usually the 3 year old that causes chaos in my house, trying to keep up with the older kids.
None of us have enough hours in the days, but that is so much more about the pace of our whole society IMHO.
Chaos, to me, implies the loss of control and for me it means losing the time you need to feel normal about things.
To me, you have a very normal life in that you seem to be saying you all manage meals together regularly, you have 3 juniors in bed at a reasonable time, you meet all your school/social commitments and earn money for the family to boot. Busy and organised. Happy and full.
Where mine has descended into chaos is that I have lost the moments I need to feel normal- time to read in bed before I sleep, time to see friends and family regularly, time to sit and play with the boys. It's just gone and it makes me feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We just keep cramming every minute of every day too full and we are all suffering for it. Messy house, living and dressing out of the car (apple cores, bread crusts, multiple jumpers, all shoes found in there), dinner on the fly, baby having custard again for tea, no time to toilet train the 2 year old properly. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
Now what I have described is nothing like how you ever describe your life. And yep, we can both put a pretty upbeat spin on things, nothing much gets us down, so I may be having a bad day, but really, my life is chaos.
And I am in no way implying that yours is a cakewalk (ha ha!). But you seem to have a grip. I'm sure that at some stage your life did sound a little like mine. This is why I look to you for hope and inspiration- I too will be normal (busy, organised, happy) again one day. 'Til then, I'll fake it 'til I make it.
Um, I'd just like to point out your tag line. Word 4, to be exact ;)
Heh.
All excellent points (including you, Retro!) ...new post about this topic coming soon.
M
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