Boyfriends

My whole life I've had close male friends - not a single one of which ever veered off into anything more (although of course I did think about it, and of course I may or may not have harboured a not-so-tiny crush on one or another of them.) Boy friends - or friends who are boys - have always just been a part of my life and I don't think it's a big deal at all. I've always had a bit of a tomboyish thing going on, I'm a giraffe (and so other girls find me intimidating by sheer height alone), and I'm sarcastic and loud and can tend to be a bit...overly honest. As one of my female friends pointed out, I've always worked in very male-dominated industries (tertiary education, the food industry, etc) so it stands to reason that I'm fairly comfortable among males. In short if it were not for the boobs, I can almost (in personality anyway) pass for "one of the guys" anyway. Therefore it makes perfect sense that I've always had one if not more close male friends in my life - but this is something none of my current cohort of female friends have much experience of, so they struggle a bit to understand it.

What does having a close male friend entail at my age? Well, emails on various topics. Texts...and some of which are not entirely academic in nature. Maybe the occasional one-on-one dinner or lunch out (especially true if we do not live in the same city or country). I've even gone to the movies with them, gone shopping with them, exercised with them, Skyped with them, had lengthy phone chats to them...and that's about it. Really not any different to my female friends (except possibly the flirting bit). Most other women find this odd for a couple of reasons - 1) why would you want to hang out with guys, and 2) what does your husband have to say about it?

Here's the answer:

1) Men are fascinating creatures. Most of the ones I hang out with are funny as hell, uncomfortable when I ask them pointed questions but answer anyway, are intelligent, fun to flirt with, and basically all around fabulous people. Plus I can rib them about being male and they could care less. Guys, in short, are FUN and because we're friends and not lovers, they're HONEST. And they're direct. None of this game playing bullshit us girls have going on.  So my male friends are just as good if not better than the women I know. And not one of them would hesitate to tell me my ass looked big in something (but they'd qualify it with a, "but I love you anyway!" and then try not to look sheepish. God bless them but they try.)

and

2) My husband has known me long enough to know this is who I am and he could care less who I hang out with. Hell, he's met all of my male mates, and most of the time, while he likes them, he has no interest in being friends with them himself. He trusts me and loves me enough to know I have no plans to do anything stupid with any of them - and more than that he knows that if I DID, the first person I'd come home squealing about how awesome it was would be to HIM. (I'm all about the over share, as you well know by now.) To him, my having male friends - with whom I actively flirt, text, and communicate with - is a NON issue altogether. I must admit I'm grateful, because I'm not sure I could cope with a jealous husband. That he has no female friends makes no difference - but if he did, I don't think I'd care too much, for the same reasons he doesn't care.

In short, having boyfriends is one of the great joys in my life. To the men in my life who I am neither married to nor related to - you're fabulous. Not only for being great men, but for being smart enough to take on a woman like me, and live to tell the tale.