Things I Can't Do

• rollerblade
• roller skate
• ride a scooter
• jump rope
• hula hoop
• skip without looking like a complete idiot
• go across monkey bars (not even when I was small.)
• ski (have tried many times.)
• knit (have tried many times.)
• eat just one cashew nut
• eat just one Pringle chip
• suck up the last slurp of a Slurpee with a straw, I have to hold the cup up and knock the last bit out into my mouth.
• not give my opinion on something
• drink tea without sugar or fake sugar of some sort
• go a day without myriad hugs and kisses - I'm a touchy feely person
• tolerate people who are stupid, or slow at doing stuff, or both
• wear sporty-style socks which are anything but white
• put my shoes on while standing up (I fall over)
• put my undies on while standing up  (I fall over)
• cook without salt (no salt, no flavour - true for sweets as well)
• run in any graceful or even vaguely natural looking sort of way
• sing in tune, although I so sing with gusto and enthusiasm
• give up sugar for longer than...about ten minutes
• keep my mouth shut even when I know I should
• wear yellow, it makes me look ill
• drink alcohol (it makes me itch)
• smoke cigarettes (it makes me throw up)
• enjoy vanilla ice cream unless it's in an iced coffee, in which case it's only just bearable
• cut a straight line with a knife. I blame this failing on having boobs which get in the way
• use an umbrella. What is it with those things? I am literally incapable of using one and staying either dry or looking coordinated. Why is the damn stick in the middle and not to one side?

What are you incapable of doing?