I'm trying to keep my business, my triplets, and my waistline under control. I excel at one of those, fail at another one of those, and one is a work in progress. Which is which is day dependant.

Monday, July 3, 2006

I hate stupid people

My hatred of stupid people started long, long, long before the trio were born. Actually I'd say that my hatred of stupid people started way back when I realised that not only was I was not one of them,but I am in fact pretty damn clever (around age two). This makes me, among other things, more able to spot the stupids. It also means I am infinitely more annoyed by them, and less skilled at hiding my annoyance. Of course just because one is clever doesn't mean one cannot do stupid things, but these are isolated incidents which should be considered mere aberrations rather than declarations of stupidity. (Wow that sentence had a lot of big words, didn't it? Proof I am not a stupid person!) Anyway once the trio were born, it seems that there was a release of extra stupid people in the world, and all of these people made stupid comments by, around, or about the trio. Here are a few examples (and yes, I really did hear all of these, some very often!):

  • "Are they identical?" (Ummm, no, he has a penis and they don't.)
  • "Are they natural?" (Ummm, no, they are made with MSG.)
  • "If I were you I would want to kill myself." (Go right ahead, one less stupid person in the world suits me just fine.)
  • "Gee, you have your hands full!" (No shit, Sherlock)
  • "Do they all share a car seat?" (Yes, we stack them so they fit in the two-seater Porsche.)
  • "How old are your kids?" "They're 5." "All of them?" "Yes, all of them." "WHY?" "Ummm, because they were all born on the same day." Stupid lady: "Oh" (she walked away still looking very confused)
  • "I feel sorry for you" (Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares what you think.)
  • "Do they all eat the same thing?" (No, I've got one on a diet of worms and one on a starvation diet - we're conducting experiments!)
  • "I didn't feed her lunch." This was from a creche teacher who did not feed one girl because the other had said she was not hungry. (Go figure, two humans, one decides if the other is hungry?!)
  • (screaming) "Look! It's the triplet lady!" (Yes, and I need you to announce that each and every time I walk into a room, because I have no other identity.)
  • "Why is he/she bigger?" (That would be because they are separate people who do not eat, shit, or grow at the same rate.)
The world is full of these people who say and ask totally stupid things. This rule of hating stupid people does not only apply to the ones who comment on the trio, it applies to stupid people in general. There are so many of them out there! Unfortunately a large majority of them seem to be employed in customer service roles (and one of these days I'll post about my 9 months spent temping!). Like the person who can't give you the info you need because you haven't got an account number, but the whole reason you called was to get the account number. Share with me, will you? I'd like to hear about some fantastically stupid people.

At the moment I'm in love with this TV show, "Girls of the Playboy Mansion." Okay, you're thinking, el primo example of stupid people. On the surface of it they're blond bimbos with big boobies and that's all there is too it. I totally disagree. These women get cars, money, chefs at their disposal, clothes, a gorgeous house, fame, and probably lots of other cool perks like meeting famous people and basically living in total luxury. For doing what? NOTHING. That's not stupidity, my friends, that's pure genius.


Anonymous said...

'When men are the most sure and arrogant they are commonly the most mistaken...' -David Hume

Anonymous said...

Fortunately she's not a man!

Anonymous said...

Aaahhh, Hume...

Brilliant philosopher AND inventor of the modern highway.