Hair Today

For those who know me in real life, you know that I don't generally "do" grooming. I don't spray tan, I wax only when I can be bothered, I don't do manicures or pedicures or facials or chemical peels or make-up. In fact I think it's fair to say that the amount of money I spend each year on personal grooming is about equal to the amount of money I spend on clothing purchases. Which is about as close to zero as I can get away with.

My only real indulgence is getting my hair done. I ADORE getting my hair done. Why this is so is pretty easy to work out. There are no children there, someone else does the work, it involves mindless flipping through trashy magazines and it's all about me, me, me. The only real thing missing is a Coke Slurpee, but otherwise it's a completely hedonistic experience.

I used to get my hair done every 6 weeks without fail - mostly to keep the greys at bay (thanks Mom, for the early greying. Love those genetics!) About a year ago, my normal hairdresser (of more than 8 years) totally lost her freakin' marbles. So I endured about 3-4 crappy haircuts, colour I didn't like, and general mis-treatment of me as a client. The last time I went in there, the price increased by about 50%... because apparently all this time I'd been getting a "deal" but on that day the boss was there so I was charged normal prices. Who knew I was even getting a deal in the first place?

So I did what was necessary, and I divorced my hairdresser. In a fabulously passive-aggressive way, but there you go. Since that time, I've been whoring myself around to a whole bunch of hairdressers and salons. Most of them were recommended by friends. I've tried small salons, big ones, trendy ones, dorky ones, expensive ones, cheap ones...and everything in between and I've HATED THEM ALL.

This one, the chairs were uncomfortable (important to a big person like myself.) That one, they didn't have credit card facilities (what the hell? seriously?). The other one, the woman talked incessantly and took about 4 hours too long to do my hair. The last one, they endlessly pushed product on me. I just can't find a new hairdresser to marry. As a result, I've been full of grey hair and with no decent shape to my hair (and FYI, my Mom will read this, and call me and tell me to cut out the crap and go get a decent hair cut. So by blogging and admitting this sorry state of affairs, I'm clearly desperate.)

What the heck am I supposed to do about this? I desperately want to return to my hairdresser, but I've divorced her (even though we're friends on facebook, we're divorced, okay?). But I can't really afford that salon any more (esp on 'normal' rates)... and I've run through all my friends' hairdressers and hated them all.

People, it's desperation time. My hair looks like shit, and I, as a result, feel like shit about said hair. It's time for drastic action. How does one find a new hairdresser to marry?