My Detox Mojo

Tell you what, I should have KNOWN I would succeed at this whole detoxing thing. Let us examine the facts about me, and the facts about this process, which make it a sure-to-be hit:

1. It involves following rules. I am an awesome rule-follower. Provide me with some parameters, tell me the big picture, and tell me what to do and I'm all over it. This doesn't mean I won't question the rules (because believe you me, I certainly will) - it just means I operate better in a defined environment.

2. It involves a list. This has two lists - the 'enjoy' foods and the 'avoid' foods. DOUBLE list action, people. DOUBLE. YEAH! Only problem is that there is nothing to cross off, which as we all know is list heaven to someone as goals driven as I am.

3. It allows chocolate. According to the naturopath, anything not listed on either list is a "neutral" food which you can enjoy in moderation. Chocolate is not listed (ha!). Now I haven't actually HAD any chocolate, but the fact that I could if I wanted to makes me happy.

4. It has pineaple on the approved fruit list (and thus juice list). I luuurrvveee pineapple juice but until now have avoided drinking it because it's so high in sugar. The fact that I am now bouncing off the walls, well...that's okay, because I'm allowed to. *bounce, bounce*

5. It makes me feel superior, and we all know it's all about me anyway. Some years ago I read M. Scott Peck's Road Less Travelled. I forgot about 99% of the book, but the one line I remember is that, "delayed gratification leads to increased reward." It's often a line I'll remember when I'm wanting to eat something which I really shouldn't. So when I manage to avoid eating or doing something self-destructive, I'll often think, "YAY me. I *so* don't need that and I *so* am better than that and I *so* am going to look hot in a bikini." A little bit of confidence goes a long way.

...and as for the Hurl Juice (cow's booby milk as mentioned earlier)? I've discovered that it does dissolve, especially if you forget it's there and spend 10 minutes on the phone with a friend. Ahh, yet more excuses to talk (and talking is exercise, right?!)