Yet More Sex Talk

After school today, one of the teachers approached me (not a good thing, as it's either a) to rat on one of my kids or b) to get me to volunteer for something). She wanted to tell me that my son had been explaining to the rest of his class the mechanics of sex. In full detail. Apparently the other kids were listening in rapt attention.

Her reaction to this was basically to take him aside and say that while she was glad he understood about it, really - not everyone wants their kids to know that kind of information. So, please, could he not talk about those things at school? I understand where she is coming from - it's no different to the Tooth Fairy or Santa. Some kids know the truth (as it were), others don't. I firmly believe it's a parent's right to choose how and when to explain about all these topics. In our household the policy had been one of age appropriate honesty. So when they asked a few months ago about how babies actually get INTO the tummies of mummies, we explained.

In detail. Appropriate detail. We also referenced the very handy video at the Melbourne Museum. A video they've seen dozens of times, which shows the whole experience in all it's soft focus but very real glory. As is the way of 6 year olds, a song was born. A song with only one lyric: "Daddy put his peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenis in Mummy's vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaa!!!" (repeat. ad naseum, at full volume, in public.) When said Daddy returned to the car (because, of course, it was me who was confronted with this conversation), the kids asked if what I had said was really true. Because it if WAS true, then that meant we had done it THREE times to have them. And that, my friends, is SERIOUSLY GROSS and EEEWWW and YUUUCCCKKKK.

Never mind that having them actually required NO sex. Not even once (unless you count all the practising.)

DH's answer? An embarrassed, mumbled, "Well, it's been known to happen." At which point he looks at me, eyes wide, and silently asks, "What the hell? I go to pay for petrol and THIS happens?"

Needless to say many conversations about sex followed, and we just kept on with the party line of an honest, age appropriate answer.

So today, when the teacher thought I should clearly be mortified, embarrassed and apologetic, I just looked at her and smiled and said, "Well? Was he at least accurate?!"

Apparently, he was.

Very accurate.

She couldn't quite understand why I looked so proud.